Something that came to mind that I decided to open dialogue about: ableism and inclusivity in gaming, and how it pertains to me.

I have Nonverbal Learning Disorder (which I will notate as NVLD, as it commonly is), which makes spatial things really difficult, especially in games

As I have comorbid Asperger's, it also creates social difficulties (I'm literal and straightforward to a fault) and some spatial reasoning deficiencies that make certain activities difficult (I can't open boxes, envelopes, or find matching lids).

There are other things, of course, but I want to focus on these two topics, starting with spatial issues.

People act like playing difficult games is some sort of badge of pride. "I speedran Dark Souls/Bloodborne/Sekiro/Hollow Knight/etc" are things I hear a LOT among gamers

and these are things I just can't be a part of. I physically do not have the dexterity to match what is on the screen. I don't understand maps. And I just generally become confused by spatial challenges like this.

It makes me feel like a "fake gamer," in a way.

It doesn't help that I'm already female, and any woman who plays games is seen as a slut only doing it for male attention, but that's not the point.

Simultaneously, I see people complaining about "games becoming easier," and for me, that was rather helpful.

Finally, I felt like I could join in on games I formerly could not because I just did not have the capacity to understand. But people like me who genuinely need easy modes or games to be "dumbed down" a bit are ridiculed instead, so I don't talk about it.

So now I'll talk about it. Some of you erroneously think of me as smart (I'm not), and in reality, I play games on easy mode! Sometimes, if I like the story enough, I'll bump it up and try harder (as I did with Bioshock), but ordinarily, I just play really simple games.

One of the reasons Warframe really clicked with me is because of what a personalized experience it is. I don't feel as alienated from other gamers because I can play however the fuck I want--and get support from players who are better at certain things (coughs on my wife)

But I still have NVLD. I don't socialize normally. I don't understand why people get bent out of shape about "metas" or whatever because I just want to be a ninja in space looking at interesting things.

In all avenues in my life--not just in gaming fandoms--I've been extremely targeted by people for not understanding social conventions, why I should or shouldn't care about certain aspects, as well as just being "bad" at games in general.

This shows me that it isn't necessarily gaming that needs to be more accessible, though we have come a long way in that regard. It's the people, the community that needs to change.

Not everyone thinks the same way. Not everyone has the same skills. Some people need a little help in some areas, and that should be okay. People should be understanding of that, but instead, they're stuck in their egocentric bubbles of "but you didn't do this the way I said."