An idea I& #39;ve become pretty obsessed with over the last 16 minutes is that Elvis killed himself after a hawk stole his penis

The heat of the hawk& #39;s beak cauterized the wound instantly but Elvis& #39; inscrutable internal code of honor demanded he impale himself mouth-first on a flag pole

Always pretty tasteless to see an impersonator who insists on doing stolen penis Elvis but I& #39;ll admit the animatronics on their hawks are always very impressive