THREAD: cereal mascots as men you date in your 20s

Cap’n Crunch- the 37 year old

Toucan Sam- the lowkey misogynist who hides the fact that he’s an avid Joe Rogan podcast listener. the only dates he suggests are trivia nights with his friends from high school

Lucky the Leprechaun- the bitcoin enthusiast / business major / has never paid rent a day in his life

Dig’em- the one whose sole purpose is to gaslight you

Tony the Tiger- the dude with kids who just wants a step mom

Snap, Crackle Pop- the polycule

Trix Rabbit- the one who is either vaping or skating or both

Crazy Craving- the one whose entire personality is based around Monster energy drinks

Boo Berry- the one who wants all your time and attention but will go off the grid the second you mention anything about defining your relationship

Sonny the Cuckoo Bird- really kinky, jokes about committing tax fraud so much you’re unsure if it’s a bit or not

Raisin Bran Sun- probably the nicest guy you’ve dated but he reeks too much of youth pastor energy

Cinnamon Stick- zumiez worker who flirted with you when u were at your lowest

Oreo O’s creme dude- asks for your Snapchat within five minutes of meeting you, dates you for three weeks and dumps you but continues to react to your Instagram stories for the rest of eternity

Frankenberry- just really into giving head