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self care tips by @NO__SANCTUARY
whenever you go shopping place your phone on top of a trash can and walk away
when you go out for the day leave your front door wide open
sleep with the oven on
affix the end of a heavy knife to a simple thread hanging from the ceiling. do this multiple times throughout your living quarters for maximum effect
dm your crush "hey"
dm your crushes best friend saying that you think your crush is god fucking ugly
dm your psycho ex "hey"
write down your twitter password on 20 blue post it notes and your twitter handle on 20 pink post it notes and go around your town posting all of them far away from each other in inconspicuous arrangement
approach a surveillance monitored door way in your work place, stop to look directly into the camera, and slowly walk away
pour a hotdog into a pan of boiling oil
while masturbating, phone your parents and attempt to finish yourself to completion without them noticing
accept a date with your psycho ex
while being masturbated by your psycho ex, phone your parents and have them finish you to completion without them noticing
add one drop of glowstick fluid into your morning glass of water. keep doing this adding another drop every single day
extend a rubber band between 2 fingers, with one finger between your eyes and the other extending outward. continue to stretch until it breaks
spin around really really really fast until you get really dizzy and then attempt to continue your task. (heart surgeons only)
spin around really really really fast until you get really dizzy and then attempt to continue your task. (jumbo jet plane pilots only)
spin around really really really fast after heart surgery and then eat a peanut butter sandwich while on a jumbo jet plane (anemic vertigo sufferers with nut allergies only)
shit your pant inside a pool (pant optional) (pool optional)
enter a cafe and say "any arsonists in here? no? just me? okay cool" and then continue about your business. did I say cafe I mean police station
with every new establishment you enter, loudly say "I'm going to do a magic trick. but first I want you to raise your hand if you're a cop, a doctor, or a firefighter". if there are none, request that a carrying gun owner volunteer for the next magic trick. bonus points for banks
roll 6 dice throughout the day. if all 6 dice land on 1, you must either steal someone's lighter or swallow all 6 dice. or, go to http://www.random.org and set parameter from 1 to 46656. if you get 6, either destroy your phone or throw it at the biggest blackest man you see
go to https://www.randomlists.com/random-us-cities and select the first city. contact the mayor of that city and tell them that if they want to guarantee the safety of their daughter, they'll visit the closest handicap McDonald's with a duffel bag full of 3D Doritos. do this 100 times or until caught
self scare*
