Sometimes I won't confront a person when I'm hurt because I generally suck at confrontations but sometimes it's because I already know I forgive them, and I am terrified at what they'd do with the knowledge if they realise how much I am able to forgive. And how that makes me look

I've left relationships where the other person never knew I knew about some things.

Both positions are terrible, but I'd rather you think I am an idiot than for you to know I loved you enough / don't respect myself enough to allow you to treat me like an idiot.

There's something there. If you are too ashamed to say you can forgive something, then maybe you shouldn't be forgiving it in the first place?

It's also very dangerous to be forgiving people who aren't sorry, I am so glad I stopped that shit.