Heroes???
Bullshit.
That’s your word.
Your word, so that when we die, you can use it to feel better about yourselves
None of us want to die
None of us want our Zoom funerals to be touted with the word hero,
because we are not.

And it won’t make the loved ones we’ve needlessly left behind feel any better.
They will be angry
And they should be angry

Heroes.
The homeless are heroes
The stay at home moms and dads are heroes
The ordinary are heroes
And we are no different.

We’ve suddenly become heroes for your convenience and accolades.
Call us heroes, line the hospital entranceways with applause, give us free ice cream, publicize your heartfelt messages......

And then
Force us into contaminated patient rooms without proper protection.
Shame us for saying “we are scared for our lives”
Threaten us for saying “this is not safe for our patients”

Reign us in with your authoritative words
mandatory
will not be tolerated
requirement
termination
under no circumstance
unacceptable .......

You know what’s unacceptable? Expecting us to be overwhelmed with gratitude that we at least get a mask per week or for the fancy fabric masks the caring community members are sewing for us (we are grateful for their efforts, of course) when they are 100% NOT appropriate when

taking care of sick coronavirus patients and expecting us to launder them in our private homes and reuse them when 6 weeks ago nobody blinked twice for the 30 gowns and gloves and masks used per person per shift for an influenza patient because we know the mask needs thrown away

after each encounter never mind the complete waste of these resources for the MRSA nasal swab colonized patient or the fact that the simple act of placing your own freaking water bottle at a nurses station is judged as criminal due to infection possibilities

and will get you written up.....
but,
reusing inappropriate masks, with multiple patients, with an airborne contagious aggressive virus that we still know little about,
meh........

THAT, is unacceptable.

How come we are not heroes when we ask for doctor/nurse centered emr.
Where is our hero status when we beg for less clicking and less useless documentation because it is taking time away from the bedside?
We are mere nuisances, not heroes, when we beg for more staffing because

we cannot do our job safely and we are tapped out with exhaustion and helplessness.
We don’t want a Wellness CEO, we want a voice.
Our job is not to contradict what we were trained to do just to increase your completely useless (in assessing quality) patient satisfaction scores.

We are tired of being told how to do our job by people who have no clue what it takes to do our job.

Where are you?

We know where you are right now.......
Meticulously calculating our pay cuts
Admonishing our pain
Calling us heroes
Handing us dirty masks
Asking us for more shifts

Warning us to keep the patients happy
Populating the media with your love and support
while disallowing us any media contact whatsoever
by threat of termination.

Heroes, no.
All we need is to walk quietly into work with the assurance that we can care for sick people with your trust in our expertise.
You need the applause,
We don’t.

Our applause comes from looking into the eyes of our patients and connecting, and healing, on a level you will never have the privilege to comprehend........
.......until the day you become our patient.

And I swear we will exhaust every cell in our bodies to do right by you.
Because you deserve a safe clean mask every time we enter your room,
and so do we.

-Dr Afraid of Retribution But Longing To Be Heard