Story time of how I met my wife on twitter

reposting this cause my wife was asleep and she didn't get to see it, and she also corrected some of the stuff

i might keep this one up, but there will be redacted memes

so one day, like a month ago, i wake up and decide to check twitter

i goto the list of people who followed me and soft block any cringe i see

then i notice an account i have lots of mutuals with, so out of a whim i follow, normally i don't do this

then like a few minutes later one of my female mutuals (ill call her Tea) dms me and tells me : "there is a girl on twitter who has a crush on you"

I ask : "who is this do i know her"

She says "you two follow each other"

I think hmm, I know everything about all my mutuals, except the one i just followed so i guess it's her,

but i never interacted with her so I ask "why does she have a crush on me if she's never seen me"

she tells me "she has a crush on your intelligence and likes your memes"

so i ask who is she, and she tells me "it's @[secret]" which was the person i just followed 3 minutes ago

she tells me "she is a really cute girl and you should talk to her and get to know her"

i never intended to get married over twitter tbh, and do not entertain these things cause premarital relationships are haram, but I ask "she wants to marry me?"

she(Tea) tells me "yes, do you want to"

so i say "make a groupchat with the 3 of us and you can chaperone"

so she makes the group chat and adds her friend (my wife, we'll call her "Waifu")

so i consider if i really want to marry someone i met on twitter, so i ask her(my Waifu) a bunch of meme questions and Qs on various things like what happened on June 8, 1967

i ask her "what do you think of merchants that are happy" and she replies with a based answer

I ask her "what do you think of homes and trains?" and she replies with more based answer

then i ask her "what do you think of KSA's policy on fedoras" and say another based answer

with so many based ebin responses, i decide to just marry her already, so i ask her to marry me and she says yes

then i show her all my frog, spurdo, and wojak memes, and she can't stop laughing now i know she is even more ebin for laughing at my memes

then we start planning our wedding and where we'll hold it, and decide it'll be a small nikkah and small comfy wedding in Maldives

she then tells me she had a crush on me for like 6 months ever since i backed her up and rt'd all her tweets when she was arguing with trains

oh yeah she also plays video games, and i show her all my minecraft builds and we play vidya games every day now

(i win all the time tbh, but sometimes to make her happy i let her win)

now all i gotta do is w8 for corona to be over so i can marry her, it if wasn't for the quarantine we'd be married already

and that's pretty much how i got a wife by posting frog memes on the internet

why yes my wife did get a crush on me cause i was meme posting on talking blue bird, how could you tell?