Why do video meetings feel more “exhausting” than in-person meetings? Been hearing it a lot and feeling the same way. Here are a few proposed reasons - curious what others think.

1. You see yourself. We know others see us in a typical meeting, but we imagine what they see, rather than know. The you on video is more complicated and specific than any conception of yourself. Easy to be self-conscious and insecure while seeing exactly what others see.

2. You are seen at all times. In a typical meeting, you know when you are being looked at – when you are talking, or if you adjust your seat and the movement draws attention, and of course the cue is someone’s eyes back at you.

Usually you don't have to screw your face into an “I’m on” position always. In person, you still have moments to yourself. Maybe that's why it's uncomfortable to glance over at someone and find that person *already looking at you* and why they glance away quickly.

It’s a minor but real violation of manners. And that’s zoom all the time! Maybe no one is looking at you, maybe everyone is, maybe your office frenemy pinned your window.

3. You are an actor and director. Staying in view of the camera trumps comfort in subtle ways. In an hour long in-person meeting, you adjust yourself a lot – and while you don’t think about it, your head slides left, right, up, down, forward, back. You are just a performer.

In a zoom meeting, you have to balance those adjustments with your role as director – so you can’t move too much, and if you do you have to move your camera, accept a weird up-shot of your chin, etc.

Also talked about this a bit with @AliMattu who had great thoughts as well.