alright time to read this series from the top so I can be in a good mindset to continue it

*reads chapter 1, paragraph 1*

alright time to rewrite this series from the top

I'm not literally going to rewrite it but I am making a few minor edits here and there where it pains me

chapter 1 Deku was FAR too sassy. Good thing that gets tortured out of him nyuk nyuk

I'm getting drunk and re-reading and probably taking a machete to Safety Synonym if anyone wants to join me, sláinte

I'm still so proud of the transition between chp1 & 2

"Kacchan was going to be furious."

"Bakugou Katsuki was furious."

that's gold, i'm hilarious

(please feel free to mute or unfollow me for the evening if this is annoying. I'll probably keep rambling for a while)

the original kernel of writing this story was me lying awake ALL NIGHT - straight through til 7am in the morning, just thinking about. Torture. Deku. Bad times. I wasn't a writer in any capacity, but I got out of bed, sat down on the couch and proceeded to type 6k on no sleep

I originally skipped over Katsuki's chapters. I didn't know how to write him! And when I went back, there were a LOT of CAPS LOCK SENTENCES that I toned down on a second pass. Also this wasn't supposed to be romantic. Let's see how that plays out

if it wasn't supposed to be romantic, why was the other POV immediately Bakugou? I had definitely been reading bkdk fic by that point so it's not like I was going "wait... ROMANTIC bkdk? unheard of"

but I didn't think I, baby fanction writer and non-shipper, would do it myself

LIGHTNING DOLT. One thing I did in this series that I can't explain is give a new electricity-based nickname to Kaminari every single time Katsuki refers to him. Why did I choose to do this? no fucking clue

I'm pretty sure I wasn't actually aware that Kaminari charging phones was canon - I also gave him some like, extra tech powers

man my Sero bias comes through IMMEDIATELY. I made him not get hit by my macguffin quirk just so I can foist him into a more main character role

LOL WHAT he was out of town for a meteor shower???? why??? who wrote that

whatever Sero is a stoner who goes stargazing apparently

oof my early attempt at group banter is ROUGH. I still love Mina though, but she was actually a late addition - it wasn't originally the whole "Bakusquad," but a few chapters later I realized I had like, no girls in my story, and I edited her in.

but who was playing the game

'Not like he cared about this stupid nerd, other than apparently helping plan a covert rescue operation. Which said nerd had definitely never done for him, Bakugou Katsuki, at any point in his life.'

sassy author crimes

oh god lmao I made Kaminari and Jirou this kind of, Jesse & James duo for some reason? Hacker wonder twins who are also kind of insufferable

Oh weird!! I also have her use given names for Sero and Kaminari for some reason. Jirou is extra tight with the boys I guess

well chapter 2 was a right mess! I was just making the plot up as I went, and it shows! I really just wanted to write torture, okay

finally onto chapter 3, the good stuff!!!!! it's I think the shortest in the whole fic but it's just pure juicy torture and it's STILL good. damn.

"If the gray man wanted to lay bare Izuku’s innermost feelings about his most complicated relationship, well. Izuku needed to keep something for himself."

directly inspired by a Flor/ence and the ma/chine lyric, a karaoke staple of mine

“Midoriya Izuku, you may believe I am a villain,” the gray man began.

“You are literally torturing me,” Izuku pushed through the blood that had pooled in his mouth.

SASSY DEKU IS STILL HERE needs more torture

"His impassive face belied very little, but years of learning to speak Todoroki let Izuku see the rage roiling beneath the surface."

LEARNING TO SPEAK TODOROKI snksksksks where did I come up with this nonsense

oh my god the entire end of this chapter fucking SLAPS who wrote this specifically for ME jesus CHRIST

alright onto chapter 4 which suckssssssssssss

2&4 are my least favorite u_u just exposition and me not knowing how to write Katsuki or anyone else bleh

also who is writing these fucking text messages they are NASTY

oh wait

idea for sequel

nevermind

should I tag these with something for people to mute???? okay I'm gonna tag each tweet with #cinnass lol ASS so if I'm REALLY pissing you off, please mute that!! and I'm sorry

'Katsuki found himself needing to defend against the accusations of this fake version of his oldest classmate nonetheless. Deku would never say these things to him, sure, but that didn’t mean they weren’t true.'

yooooooooo sorry Kacchan #cinnass

FUCK I LOVE URARAKA

fucking DROP HIM. I wrote her purely as a foil for Katsuki but SHIT. She is not messing around I LOVE HER #cinnass

'Sero shrugged. “Seems like a stretch, though. Everything okay here? Uraraka?”

Wiping her face, Uraraka smiled gamely up at Sero. “No. But, I’m fine.'

okay so i know I wrote this but I really love Sero checking in with Uraraka? And she says No???? truthfully??? fuck #cinnass

so I don't know if this is quite driven home but. It's like, all red herrings. They think they can figure this shit out on their own but they are always wrong; they are children. They never involve the pros and they never figure it out. #cinnass

OKAY TORTURE TIIIIME

for real I was so nervous about this chapter, it's brutal and cruel and I thought i was going to get raked over the coals for it. I didn't. And then I wrote Sink to Swim like eyyyy fuck it, you read the tags you know what's up. And that's growth. #cinnass

'“Fuck you,” Izuku spat. Stay with me, Kacchan.'

WHOA fuck yeah Deku stay sassy

ohhh you're gonna regret that tho #cinnass

it's fitting that I really have to pee right now while reading this chapter

this whole sequence is just brutal, as Izuku kind of spirals and talks to himself and the voice in his head (Kacchan) and convinces himself he can solve the riddle #cinnass

'What was he talking about? Focus, Deku. You can do this.'

I like to intentionally have Izuku's inner dialogue call himself Deku sometimes. Not always, but occasionally, for effect. I think it works well here, especially as Izuku's voice and Kacchan's voice mingle #cinnass

oh man this cliffhanger I'm not even sorry. That is GOOD #cinnass

thank you past cinna for having Sero say "cool your fucking tits"

where's my Pulitzer

#cinnass

fuck I love this chapter. this is my bread and butter, deku fuckin dying, DYING and katsuki has to witness it. Touch him. Feel it. Horror. Absolute awful. love it. thanks me

okay I gotta pee and cook some food and get more booze I'll be back later with chaptr 6

#cinnass