New moms are always surprised to find out how hard breastfeeding is, because all the breastfeeding propaganda makes it sound like some easy, natural, uncomplicated process that will also help you fit back into your pre-pregnancy jeans, too.

Let me guess. The doula who ran your birth class showed you that video where the newborn baby crawls up to the boob and latches instantly no assistance required and said, "See how natural all this is?"

Then your baby was born and just laid there looking confused and pissed off.

I know lots and lots and lots of moms who've breastfed. I've known exactly two who said it was easy and a joy. Everyone else? Lots of crying involved. Lots and lots and lots of crying. That includes me.

If you're struggling with breastfeeding right now, I'm going to be the bad angel sitting on your shoulder and tell you your baby will be just fine if they have formula. No one will ever be able to tell whether your kid was breast or formula fed. It does not matter. At all.

One more thing: "breastfeeding is great for weight loss!" is some absolute sexist garbage. Not only is it bullshit to put weight loss pressure on new parents (or anyone), but it's also not true. Between no sleep, hormones, and a sketchy diet, a lot of nursing parents GAIN weight.

And that is FINE. Putting all of that pressure on people to look a certain way while they're recovering from giving birth, not sleeping, and devoting mountains of energy to caring for their babies is beyond fucked up. We shouldn't be doing that ANY time, but especially not then.