Sometimes, more times than Wei Wuxian would like to, Lan Wangji has nightmares. He dreams of the image of Wei Wuxian being lost, injured, defeated, broken, insisting him to "Get lost". He dreams of an empty Burial Mounds and all the images that crossed his mind that exacerbated

the pain the whip lashes on his back was causing. He imagined a thousand ways, each one more terrible and painful that the last one, of how Wei Ying could've died, how his body could've disappeared.

When he wakes up, he leaves behind those images, but the anxiety never leaves

his body. He wakes up to Wei Ying being curled up on his chest, his beautiful long her making his pillow smell like him, his arms around his neck, but his body refuses to listen.
"He's here" he thinks. But the pressure on his chest doesn't wear down, the knot on his stomach

doesn't loose. His breath becomes agitated, and his heart rate becomes irregular.
His heartbeat, the lullaby of safety that Wei Wuxian sleeps to every night, is what gives him away and what makes the gray eyes meet the golden.
Wei Ying's looks at him worried and caring

Lan Zhan looks at him worried and lost.

And Wei Ying doesn't need any more than that to understand what's going on on his husband's head. He wishes he hadn't hurt him so much as to make him suffer like this after all these years. He wishes his presence was enough to reassure

him. But he understands that's not the case.

He accommodates his husband's beautiful face into his chest and starts running his fingers through his hair. He holds tight, making his physical presence very obvious, letting him know he's not going to let go.

Lan Wangji finally reacts, making the hug even tighter and holding Wei Ying by the waist against his body. It's reassuring to feel that he doesn't shy away, but rather accommodates himself in the closeness. He feels Wei Ying's lips softly and slowly leaving kisses on his forehead

where the headband should be. He feels his fingers rubbing and massaging the back of his head. He's flooded by his scent everywhere. This time, he's the one hearing his steady heartbeat and making it his safe space.
"I love you" he hears on a whisper, meant only for him

Another kiss in his forehead
"I'm here with you."
Another kiss in his cheek
"I don't wanna be anywhere else."
A thumb that scaped his hair caressing his cheek
"You're the most extraordinary and special thing in my life. I love you."
An index finger lifts his chin from the safety

of Wei Ying's chest and he receives a small but loving kiss
"I'm not leaving."
He feels his breath against his lips and he reacts, kissing him with the hunger of a starved man.
Wei Ying lets him, corresponds and intensifies. There's no teasing this time.

Wei Ying understands what Lan Zhan wants to say with that kiss. He's screaming "I need you."
He's answering "I'm here"
In the privacy of their room, in the silence that honors the name of it.
Because their feelings are only loud for them. Because no one else can hear a yearning

so intense, because no one else has lived it.
Wei Ying lets Lan Zhan do whatever he wants with him, just as he had promised, and shows him he'll follow. He'll follow anything.
Lan Zhan tries to draw him even closer by pressing his waist against him, he buries his fingers in his

locks, and Wei Wuxian follows. He tries to get closer, the accommodates his head obediently. He grabs his face with one hand and caresses it, and does the same with his other hand in the side of his neck, letting his fingers kiss his skin softly.

He can feel the grasp in his waist gain intensity and he follows, intertwining their legs together. He kisses him until he has to choose between that and breathing.

He then sees what he was suspecting by the taste of the kiss, Lan Zhan is crying. It's just wet eyes and

single warm tears.
Lan Wangji recognizes the look on Wei Ying's eyes because he has bore that look thousands of times. It's the concerned look you dedicate your lover when you don't want him to suffer anymore, any longer.
He closes his eyes and feels Wei Ying kissing his tears

as to make them disappear from his face.
"I like it in Cloud Recessess with you. I'll go back with you anywhere."
Lan Zhan is concentrating in his words, in the touch, and doesn't open his eyes
"Lan Zhan, look at me"
He obeys, and Wei Ying greets him with one of those smiles.

Lan Zhan loves that smile. It starts so tiny and innocent and grows and grows in his lips, wide, full of joy. He loves that smile, because Wei Ying always smiles like that when he sees him. Lan Zhan can look at him for hours, but when Wei Ying looks at him back and recognises his

presence, he smiles wide. Not for him, but because of him.
"I love you" he whispers again.
Lan Zhan didn't know how bad he needed to see him safe, healthy, smiling and saying that to him.
He feels like the pressure on his chest his wearing off, like the destroyed view of

Wei Wuxian asking him to get lost is a 16-year-old image, and he doesn't need to worry about that anymore.
"I love you too" he finally speaks, and somehow is Wei Ying the one that sighs in relief and smiles again at him.
This time is him the one that starts the kiss. It's a lot

softer. Not needy, it's just that distance seems inappropriate between them now.
Wei Wuxian kisses his husband until he pleases, and Lan Wangji smiles softly at the end of it, because he loves being kissed.