The docu that @ARTEde is now showing on TV made me break down in tears saying the people will never learn that #AllLivesMatter .. My hate against being socially disintegrated can't ever be that bad to drive into a crowd, push back and their pieces spread through the air..

Mankind will never learn , that any battlefield from small to big environment sacrifices lives and my old soul is devasted to the extend I am aware that only having friends, a partner and kids aka a comfortable surrounding , can save the wonderful me but I don't have that ...

My situation existed prior corona crisis and I am not exaggerating unlike others , the imbalances but show human abyss now even more and it won't end soon ...
If I can't have prior mentioned comfort as a perspective I can't (live) exist in this world any longer ..

My character, mindset and appearance are good and valuable to be in this world; lovable as well. So it's not my fault. It's but there's no one by my side unlike with whom feels robbed off their liberty that's a gift of free time.
My depression is me having no chance to live.

I'm not even mad or angry. I'm just very sad.
And I know that I am having much more good facets but such can't blossom because I'm alone at edge of life.
There's nothing worse than wanna live but can't. Have a voice but be muted. Have a point but not being serious.

I end this thread now as I won't be able to make a difference.
Because who could stand by me? ...only a brave one that values life.