alcohol//
mmm so drunk and im really so sad why am i like this why do i hve to deal with this constantly im so tired. im so tired.

joons fasting n so shoukd i im so dumb i

my friends talk abt wanting to know me better and what do i say? what should i say? im so sad i hate everything i love them and im sk sad? they sns tto feel closer to me but what is there to be closer to? i have no identity i am just melancholy personified

why did i come to korea when i cant even handle myself, what did i expect to find here? all ive understood is i cant deal with anything ever and i am always alone. being in a better placr doesnt makr rveythijg else go away :(()

its fucking daylight im so tired and my struggles are so complex how doci expect anyone to be able to decode them im so sorry tl bc im just ranting but life is so hard why is it like this

i like. lose time and pretend its nothing because how could i expect anyone to navigate this clusterfuck of trauma and identity on top of being nb n pagan and 100 other thigns isnt this too much? isnt this too much? nobody will ever understand or lovw me and its so mcuh

i shoudl ahve been cis an neurotypical and straight isnr this too much? why me

this thread is so long and its sunrisr what am i supposed to do? nobody ever offered me mental care and how am i sposed to find a place that is equipped to deal with all of my issues? what am i supposed to do? i wNg to d*e but it's so stressful bc i hVe a panic disorder ant death

the avuse i went through. my identity. this dissociationa nd lost time. its too much on top of everything else im so stressed i just want to like living why is that so hard

i wantto be a person and i jjst dint get go be one how unfaor is that. how unfair