*drops spoon in now-empty tub of ice cream* Okay so, I like found family as a theme but the problem in it's many manifestations is that it's not gender-neutral. Found family for women often looks different than found family for men.

Embracing found family for women often means facing the roles of femininity in a family structure. If you are nurturing, your experience with found family is probably going to be different than a man's, full stop. You're a surrogate mother. The mom-friend.

That's not the worst thing, mind you, but then there's also female friendship which also looks different than heterosocial or homosocial-male friendships.
That's right, bitches: sisterhood

I love found family. There have been times where I have felt closer to friends than my sibling or parents. I never had a sister, but I have had "sisterhood" through feminine bonds.
So anyway, you know what this is about.

Blah blah blah Episode IX ignores the importance of these gendered relationships because no one who wrote Rey's TRIO dynamic or found family story understood what being socialized a woman looks or feels like. Rey got the male found family narrative, which denied her femininity

The "trio" works in the OT because it's centered around Luke and is from a male lens. Leia is not denied her femininity, and often finds herself at odds with the men because of it. Harry Potter has a similar dynamic, with Hermione as both nurturer and brains.

Found family framed around a female main character that denies her femininity will never work. The end.