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I think we all have an idea about what haters are, but can we talk about self hate for a minute?
Yesterday, it really hit me that people feel like who they are isn’t good enough. It really hit hard because I’m like, damn has the world gotten so bad that it makes people not only hate others, but hate who they were born as?
It started with just a conversation at 12 am after creating my first t-shirt, about men who change their gender because they feel like they were really meant to be women - a very graphic conversation for me but if you want to get into what I mean by graphic, let me know.
Then the conversation evolved into, how gay/lesbian women, focus more on how masculine they can be instead of on being attracted to women and finding women they are attracted to.
Then I stumbled on a video about white women literally changing their skin complexion, enlarging their breast, enlarging their lips, hips and butt, to “look like black women”. They even went as far as to change their race and call themselves African.
Next I stumbled on a video about women who change their sexual identity to look like men. It was after this last one that I was like, “what is the real underlying message here because even though none of them know each other, they’re reasonings are all the same?”
They all say, I know I was born as this (woman, man, black, white, whatever they were born as) but... I feel like I should really be (whatever they want to change into - man, women, black, white, green, purple, etc...).
Here’s what doesn’t make sense to me:
1. how can you say you belong to a different group, if without that group you would have nothing to compare to?
I’ll put it another way, if you were deaf and blind, would you say:
1. how can you say you belong to a different group, if without that group you would have nothing to compare to?
I’ll put it another way, if you were deaf and blind, would you say:
So for example, as a black man, if I decide, “you know I think I was really born to be a white woman”. And then I go about getting a procedure to make this my reality (change my skin complexion and my gender).
The challenge there is:
How could I ever KNOW what being white is, without having experiences that happened on the basis of being white?
How would I KNOW what being a woman or girl is, without actually having had a menstrual cycle?
How could I ever KNOW what being white is, without having experiences that happened on the basis of being white?
How would I KNOW what being a woman or girl is, without actually having had a menstrual cycle?
It’s one thing to sympathize or empathize, it’s another thing to say you know what someone else is experiencing.
Because I question why we allow the world to tell us we aren’t good enough, I did some research:
•At least 3/5 Americans are lonely - feeling like they are left out, poorly understood or lacking companionship.
•Nearly 25% of Americans say their mental health is fair or poor.
•At least 3/5 Americans are lonely - feeling like they are left out, poorly understood or lacking companionship.
•Nearly 25% of Americans say their mental health is fair or poor.
I don’t have all this figured out but here’s what I do think. I do think a lot of us face struggle with truly loving ourselves. We seek validation in unhealthy ways. We struggle with a desire for acceptance.
So here are 7 ways that have/do help me build healthy self confidence:
So here are 7 ways that have/do help me build healthy self confidence:
1. Don’t base your opinions solely off of the opinions of others.
2. Define yourself, don’t let others define you!
3. Expect to hear more no’s than yes’s.
4. Help someone else.
5. Eat, Sleep, Exercise, DREAM.
6. Don’t let anyone silence your voice.
7. Focus on small wins FIRST!
2. Define yourself, don’t let others define you!
3. Expect to hear more no’s than yes’s.
4. Help someone else.
5. Eat, Sleep, Exercise, DREAM.
6. Don’t let anyone silence your voice.
7. Focus on small wins FIRST!
