Read on Twitter
*** A Critique of Demanding 'Rights' in Marriage***
When I see single people discussing marriage, I see an environment of fear. Everyone wants to walk in as a debt collector. "Islam does not ask me to do this!"
I feel like they are getting two things wrong:
( a thread)
When I see single people discussing marriage, I see an environment of fear. Everyone wants to walk in as a debt collector. "Islam does not ask me to do this!"
I feel like they are getting two things wrong:
( a thread)
1) Islam has given a basic list of rights. It has remained silent about MOST aspect of marriage. That way, couples can negotiate these between themselves. This would also allow Muslims to thrive in different societies!
People started using those unlisted areas against their spouses. Just because Islam doesn't oblige you to do it, doesn't mean you shouldn't :/
they say:
"Islam doesn't tell me to pay for this!"
"I don't have to cook for your parents!"
"Where does it say I have to do the dishes?"
they say:
"Islam doesn't tell me to pay for this!"
"I don't have to cook for your parents!"
"Where does it say I have to do the dishes?"
Ridiculous.
Islam has remained silent so you can negotiate these amongst yourselves. Islam also has kept time-consuming obligations on the man, so sisters should follow their lead in setting tasks.
Islam has remained silent so you can negotiate these amongst yourselves. Islam also has kept time-consuming obligations on the man, so sisters should follow their lead in setting tasks.
2) Even the rights that are there, it doesn't mean a person can't willingly forego them. In fact, most couples should and do do this!
Islam requires me to pay for my wife. But does that mean she will leave me if I am homeless? lol, I certain hope not!
Islam requires me to pay for my wife. But does that mean she will leave me if I am homeless? lol, I certain hope not!
Islam requires a woman to satisfy her husband sexually as long as she isn't on her period, etc.
But does that mean a man should demand intercourse right after fighting with her? When she has a headache? Astaghfirullah.
But does that mean a man should demand intercourse right after fighting with her? When she has a headache? Astaghfirullah.
Honestly, everyone wants a partner who will compromise when times get tough. My wife knows I will, and do, work my behind off in providing for the house. But I also know that if I fall short any month, she's got my back!
(lol the Pakistan trip was on her money)
(lol the Pakistan trip was on her money)
The marriage of Khadijah is a perfect example. She willingly let go of her rights to support the cause of Prophet (peace be upon him)!
Rights should be demanded stringently in cases of abuse and conflict. But in most cases, Marriage should be sought with a spirit of compromise.
Rights should be demanded stringently in cases of abuse and conflict. But in most cases, Marriage should be sought with a spirit of compromise.
I will conclude with advice given by the scholars:
Each one of the spouses should focus on fulfilling the other's rights. This is what we will be asked about from Allah.
May Allah allow me and you to fulfill the rights of our spouses and make us good ones as well.
Each one of the spouses should focus on fulfilling the other's rights. This is what we will be asked about from Allah.
May Allah allow me and you to fulfill the rights of our spouses and make us good ones as well.
