I always thought i will write about my mental health issues, something stopped me back. Today marks exactly one year of the worst phase of my life. Today i decide to write cos it mite help someone going thru same.

One year back around 18-19 april i returned from Italy , took a day off. Went to office and in the evening i was feeling cold in my back. I ignored for a day. Next day same feeling cold in back .When i returned from office i decided to visit a doctor. He said its very strange.

He told me since uve returned from a trip,lets do a typhoid test. Next morning i get my typhoid test done and ig and igm something both came positive. He told me u have typhoid,so no office for 15 days. I said ok. Next day heavy antibiotics start.

I keep taking medicines for 4-5 days but that chill feeling in back is not going. I gave it more time. 15 days pass and its still thr. Dr says its strange,he says u need to see a higher dr and more tests needed. In meanwhile i have done md in google medicine sitting at home

Next start drs after dr,medicines aftr medicines and even ct scans. My panic level is increasing day by day. One if my close friends friend was head if gangaram homeopathic. He told me visit thr. I go thr,he says u have nothing,just chill n relax.I am wearing jackets in delhi May

I am taking blankets, wearing jackets in delhi may weather. I tell him bhaiya r u joking i am here struggling and ure telling me nothing. Anyways i try to go to office and within 3-4 hrs i breakdown and i rush back to my bed. My bed wld give me comfort only

Anther visit to anther dr probably 10th new dr,tells me cld be post something something like recovery from a disease so gives me anti depressant drugs and fuck worst day of my life my palplitations fuck me up.I just dont know what to do. I used to chk my bp and temp10 times a day

During these days i was reading about a thermostat of brain, which causes temp fluctuation n all. I some how take 2-3 days rest ,feeling btr go to office. I go to office and its like a feeking i hving a heart attack and i will fall. I ask for help ,some how take rest,nimbu pani

I call up the same ganga ram dr for a brain dr appointment and he asks me where are you,i tell him in office. He says wait thr i am coming with my friend. They come i tell them everything, same answer u dont have anything. I argue the.n he scolds me.

If u were having a heart attack why didnt u fall, we will take u to the doctor once u fall,but fall once" i was like wtf. By chance a crick match is coming and he said lets watch the match. Few mins into the match and i am fine,but after 45 mins same feeling is starting

He said change ur seat, come sit with me, and it vanishes in 10 mins. I say FUCk what the hell. I stay with them till dinner,they drop me back home. I am fine.

For no reason my mind was playing Games with me.Thr was a demon in my mind who wnted to win over by making we wear winter clothes,the more i wore them the more he was winning. Fr next 15 days i had a big battle in hand,whenever i had that feeling telling the demon i wnt let u win

I practiced a soyecific long breathing techinque. The attack i had was a panic attack probably cos of all google reading i was doing. I was under great anxiety for 15 days but each day i improved. I could have drifted had those guys not met me that day.

Depression is not sadness what a millennial feels.Sadness is just a feeling,its perfectly fine to feel sad Depression is a mental health issue when u dont know u have mental health problem. I threw all my medicines.had an options of a councillor/therapy but i decided i will fight

Didnt want to take medicines cos they slow u up. Here i am a year later :)

An year later. Stay put. We will fight it out.