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RUTHLESS SURVIVAL.

No outsider can come 2 my house right now. No food delivery. No repair man. No cable guy. No family. No friends. This is the essence of quarantining during a pandemic. I even kicked my wife out after she decided 2 go out with her sorors. Bitch please.
2 of 11

Over my objections, my grandmother decided to go to church this past Sunday. Kicked her old ass out too. I doused her bubonic bibles & corona church hats with gasoline & started a bonfire in my backyard. I did put her up in the local nursing home though. Count down.
3 of 11

After I told him not to leave the house, my paraplegic autistic cousin decided to kick it with some of his disabled buddies down at the park. When he returned, I rolled his gogo gadget wheelchair ass to a Walmart parking lot & dipped. Haven't seen him since. Peace Rollo.
4 of 11

My cat & two dogs coughed yesterday. I shot them. I repeatedly warned Garfield, Lassie & Benji about covering their damn snouts with their paws when they coughed. On top of that, they refused to wear masks when they went out. They didn't listen. So I had to put them down
5 of 11

I slapped an old lady the other day at Costco for standing too close to me in line. She fell down & started yelling "Whyyyyyy" like Celie's sister Nettie did in The Color Purple when Mister threw her down & put her off the farm while her & Celie pattycaked goodbye.
6 of 11

I wired my mailbox to spray a fire hose blast of 99.99% Heavy Duty Bleach Concentrated Lysol every time the mailman opens it. He called the police on me & when they arrived, I walked outside in a giant Glad construction bag with a football helmet. Cop like "nevermind."
7 of 11

I recently learned my father was admitted to the ICU for corona after refusing to stay in doors over the past few weeks. It's not looking like he is going to make it.. As soon as I got the news, I rushed right over...pause....to make sure I was included in the will.
8 of 11

I was cutting my grass the other day when my elderly neighbor coughed with their window open and without covering their mouth. I immediately grabbed my drill and several 2x4s out the basement and boarded up her window. I could hear her screaming inside. She be aight.
9 of 11

U should find the above commentary as believable as democrats fighting the president about travel restrictions, open borders and suspending immigration. One need not be xenophobic to put the concerns of their household & their families first above all else.
10 of 11

This is the turbulence we now find ourselves in aboard Corona Flight 2020. We are losing cabin pressure & folk out here forgetting flight attendant instructions: please put on your own mask BEFORE HELPING OTHERS. Survival requires ruthless behavior or everyone dies.
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Disregard this maxim all you like and you'll soon find yourself under a ventilator fighting the Covid crusader. In other news, the Congressional Black Caucus continues to push immigration above reparations even when Corona killing their constituents most. #shitshow2020
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