Work Culture Rant - Well, sort of. This is less about work culture and more about people.

Inappropriate Conversations at work.

THIS...

I'm not talking about talking about politics, which can and does set people off.

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I'm not even necessarily talking about "swears" necessarily (although swearing AT people is another matter).

I'm talking about inappropriately sexual conversations.

As a sex educator, I highly endorse being able to freely discuss sex.

As an HR person...

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There is a time and place for those conversations, and unless your job is sex education, the work place IS NOT IT.

If you and your office bestie are alone and want to share all the details, then great. But the MINUTE another human being gets within earshot, stop.

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Same goes for off-color jokes. Yeah you and office bestie might be cool with it, but you do not know what trauma or triggers other people in the office have. What might be funny to you, could really bother or trigger another co-worker.

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Or at the very least make them feel like, "Oh, cool, so this means you guys view X that relates to my existence/experience as a joke."

Things like that can erode office environments and teams quickly.

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This goes times a million for anyone (mostly dudes, but not always) who responds to, "Hey, how was your weekend?" with a blow by blow of all the sex they had, vanilla or kinky.

Although dudes in the fetish community seem to be the worst offenders.

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Pro-tip: At work, she's not your "slave" or your "sub," she's your girlfriend, your wife, your friend (or boyfriend, husband, friend).

I may have a lot of feelings about this particular issue.

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Work is a place where you have to hang out with a bunch of people due solely to the fact that you do the same or related things for money.

It's like school, but sort of voluntary.

This means that you are close proximity to a bunch of other folks...

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...who may or may not share your values.

Do what you can to make it bearable for everyone, within reason.

Again, there's that "within reason" thing that keeps coming up.

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Work Cultures vary. A LOT depending on industry, location, the surrounding culture.

But when you make people around you uncomfortable, regardless of what the culture was, or what you're used to, and it isn't something that is a protected class thing, you need to stop.

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i.e. If someone who is gay talks about their same sex spouse as their spouse, you cannot, at least where I work, reasonably expect them to stop doing that because you're the kind of person who thinks "gay" and then immediately starts obsessing about sex and genitals.

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Or more to the point, a gay man with a husband can and should be able to refer to his husband as his husband. If that makes you uncomfortable, oh well...

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Someone who is Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Wiccan, Buddhist, can mention it in casual conversation. They can ask accommodations for religious requirements, like a place to pray at prescribed times, BUT you may not use your religion to bludgeon others and silence them.

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Or excuse bad behavior, bigotry, or discrimination.

You can have your beliefs, practice devoutly, you do not get to force your beliefs down anyone else's throat.

Nor do you get to police other people's bodies/dress because it doesn't agree with your beliefs.

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Ugh, I feel like I'm really getting into the weeds here.

Basically, let people be. Don't overshare. Don't make off-color or tasteless jokes indiscriminately.

Be aware that especially in cube farms or open offices, everyone can hear everything.

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I know I'm going to get a raft of questions or angry tweets about some of this, but mostly, just have some fucking decorum.

And realize that what doesn't bother you may bother others, and vice versa.

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I spent months in a cube next to someone whose friends would gather in her cube, and they would talk about diets forever.

That bothers the shit out of me. But in this culture, it's common and accepted, so I put in earbuds.

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Mostly, just try not to talk about actually sexual stuff at work.

"I have a husband." - OK

"I banged the shit out of my husband this weekend!" - Not OK.

See the difference?

And don't disparage people's beliefs, even if you don't agree with them.

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I feel like I could/should write a million more words on this, but I have shit to do.