It’s still mommas birthday and I just remembered one funny story . That year when I was in college. Ur mom ever caught u having sex ? Well, mine did. Truth is, we very close. When I found out I was gon be a dad, she was the first I called. Anyway... a thread

My friend Mubarak. Aka Fiole , the funniest comedian we had in school at the time always did shows together . He was also studying physics in nearby Federal University of Petroleum Resources (FuPRE) in Warri Delta state . He was dating this black beauty. Fine Agbarho babe

She was in PTI at the time . I remembered the day he introduced us . We were at a show in FuPRE. Backstage. Apparently, he was making the intro as a favor to his new babe. She was so excited to be in my presence it was funny. I mean PTi is a small school. After performance that

night, we all went back to my Hotel room Acemco hotel or so... and all rooms were fully booked so I told dem not to go back to school. I couched. Mofo still had sex that night. I was too tired to care anyway. In the morning we went to the bar and I was drinking when he said

Be like say my babe like you oh . I was like why u said that. He said just know say my babe like u. Okay. We laughed it off .

Long story short she broke his heart . Like very badly. Never seen my guy that hurt . He was crying like a baby. Apparently it was his birthday

Babe refused to call. By noon, he thought she didn’t have cash for recharge card so he sent someone to give her cash physically in the hostel. She still didn’t call. So he sent her 1k actual recharge card by 3pm and she sent “thank you”. No birthday call or text

Later that night I was in front of FH (not sure why ) when I saw him frustrated. Guy how far naa? U look like shit. And he told me sup. Maen that’s f*ckt up! While we were talking, we saw the babe stepped out of FH with another guy and they walked towards the dark SUG offices

My guy wan die. He said he’ll wait another 30mins and go confront them. I was like, why ? She’s not being dragged over there at gun point. Bro free the babe. She don cast. He started crying. Then he whispered “Oshoma help me do this girl back. You know she likes you”

I REFUSED ! I was like guy lock up !
A few weeks after, met her close to LH. At night. Hey what’s up, I hrd u broke up with fiole . She smiled, are you angry with me ? Me ? Naaa I’m good. We exchanged numbers and I went my way. Really. Next day babe called me. Saying she’s bored

Said she’d like to see me. I’m on my dorm. She came through and we just laughed for a bit. Then my phone rang. It was my mom. Said she was going to effurun market to get some fresh fish for fresh fish banga soup. I shld make sure I come home the next day. She knows I love that

I was like okay. So I asked her where she was and she said she was on her way to market . Now it’s a 10mins Okada ride from school. And with my mom going to market, I have a 4/5 maybe 6hrs window . So I told babe I needed to get home and bid her farewell. Got home and there

Was light. It started raining heavily and I ... errr butt dialed her number BY MISTAKE ! I swear it’s by mistake . And she picked and asked when I was coming back to school. I said I’m not sure and she insisted she come see me. Told her to wait for rain to calm, she REFUSED

So I did what every guyman wld do, I called Fiole to ask if he still wanted me to go ahead, but! He didn’t pick . Waited 15mins and he didn’t call back . So I did what every gentleman wld do. Sent her my address.
People of GOD babe enter under heavy rain to come see me

The compound was a little flooded (like most Warri compound during rainy season off course) bike could not enter. She got off, took off her shoes and folded her trousers above knee level. This was not going to be an ordinary hang out . And there was still light miraculously

So I started playing my Jay Z and rapping along . . .

Y’all still with me ? Wanna know what happened next ?

Les continue ...

So I started play JayZ and vibing . And long story short, we moved into my room . And the action began. This babe had the most confident breast I’ve ever seen. I say that coz it’s huge so I thought it’ll be business as usual. U know when u take off the bra, ...

The true location of nipples is revealed. Some dey near ankle others knee. Majority dey was ur region. But not theses boobs. The ly STOOD at attention. You’d think we were at the barracks. Babe had flawless head game too. So I quickly found a condom and started sinning

God forgive me . My knee was both on the ground . That’s how I peel them most times . Anyway my knees were on the ground and both my hands grabbed bother hers by the calf just below the knee holding it up and wide and doing my thing. We both got into rhythm and my eyes

Shot close. Hers too.

All of a SUDDEN, a cold hand tapped my shoulders from the back. Thrice . I stopped looked around slowly and my mom’s unmistakable voice said “Lock your door . Idiot” . And she turned around and went into her room. My room was directly opposite hers

Gaaaawwwwd! Ur erection don ever shrink inside p*ssy once . I turned back around and saw the girl covering her face with both hands. We just paused for abt a minute then disengaged and laid there for close to an hr. Then my mom shouted from the kitchen . Make una never go oh

Food go soon done . Gaaawd! This woman just want to finish myself esteem . She made us wait and we ate banga soup with catfish . In total SiLENCE . I still can’t tell if that food was sweet or not. I didn’t even think abt taste just wanted the ground to open and

Swallow me. Momsi will occasionally let out a very sarcastic laugh. Gawd I was ashamed . We’ll rain refused to stop, so we had to chill some more. Now we had to finish what we started but who will reignite the mood ? Anyhow shaa, NEPA took the light and brought it back

Around 10pm and long story short, we ran out of condom that night. The next morning, after getting ready to go back to school, momsi called they girl like “o girl wait oh. No be blood dey run for ur body? If Na me boy mama waka jam like that , I no go talk to the boy again oh”

She finally finished me . Truth be told, that was the last time I ever hooked up with that chick . Momsi burn my cable finish.

She wanted so much to continue but I cldnt bring myself to get passed momsi’s words .

1day some months after , I was busting with momsi

And she said , she came back home door was open, she was calling out my name for at least 5mins. The whole time it took her to set her bag from the market down and I ignored . She stood behind me for a few seconds before she decided to tap my shoulders to lock door

I was furious like why watch me knack. She was disgusted like Naa. She looked around for condom wraps to be sure I wasn’t being stupid as well as useless. That babe .

Years later , I met Fiole in Utah USA . He’s married now with 2kids. Married to a Latino woman. Fine die

So I told him, what I did years back. He said he suspected but never really bothered to ask. Said he met the girl once under Kunu joint she was miserable . He asked her what’s up and she said “go and ask ur friend Oshomah”

That was some trips though ... my guy no let me stay he house shaa . He go pay for hotel . The next show I had in Utah , I stayed in his home shaa. He has a LOVELY family now. All we do is reminisce our wild days

#END RT

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