There is no fantasy Israel where annexation, blockade, demolitions of homes, arrests of children, extreme military violence, illegal settlement supported by the government, and killing of innocent civillians isn’t happening. That place doesn’t and has never existed.

I was raised as a Zionist kid in Zionist educational institutions and youth groups. Everything about my education said, “We have a right to do whatever it takes,” which is the ethos of Israel and the ethos of American political support for Israel.

Even now, Israel will blame Palestinians. Even now, Hasbara will continue to say, “Palestinians COULD have had a state IF ONLY....” as if that “if only” of accepting violence, theft, and expulsion from your home is a reasonable “if only.”

Even now, racist apartheid apologists will insist Israel is not an apartheid in the same sentence they insist apartheid is necessary — it’s not the act, or the physical reality of apartheid that bothers them; it’s word itself.

This line in the sand has been clear for decades. I don’t believe that there was ever an Israel willing to cede territory or activate political will in order to create a Palestinian state, particularly as mainstream Israeli education is decidedly opposed to any such acts.

Some may point to Gaza, and with a spectrum of racism say “But Israel left and look what ‘they’ did to it!” ignoring 1) that the Israeli military undertook physical withdrawal from Gaza because the military technology advanced so they could control Gaza without physical presence

and 2) that reannexing Gaza has always been a conversation Israeli politicians and military leaders have been willing to have - and the call to reannex Gaza swells considerably every time Israeli leaders begin to toss it about again.

Some will point to the West Bank and say, “Yeah, but ‘they’ have complete control of certain parts of the West Bank!” as if that’s not literally a series of disconnected territories surrounded by and maintained by the IDF. Bantustans in practice, and consistently undermined.

I truly do understand that for those of us raised in Zionist homes who truly believed in some liberal fantasy where things could magically occur despite decades of the contrary, it’s hard to let go of the fantasy. It’s hard to say, “Maybe that place was never real.”

But it’s vital, VITAL work in order to be able to take steps into engaging with reality and moving towards holding Israel actively accountable. A year of failed elections only to end up with a government ready to make moves on annexation while people held their breath and put

their faith in the idea that maybe there’s some chance that if ...? If what? I don’t know, honestly. If the politician who was the military leader who led the bombing of Gaza in 2014 could beat the corrupt guy, what? I don’t know. I really don’t. It doesn’t matter though.

I couldn’t live through Israel bombing Gaza in 2008 and 2012 and 2014 without having my fantasy of the country permanently shattered. If you could but now are having the scales wiped from your eyes by reckoning with the reality of this new government, welcome. We need you.

This is where joining with Palestinian-led movements, committing to listening and following the lead of Palestinian activists and educators becomes, frankly, the only materially reasonable course of action. Even liberal Jewish groups which center the Jewish experience fall short.

Because one of the primary myths of Hasbara culture is that Jewish *feeling* about Israel is ofnutomost importance in how Israel is regarded, and far outweighs the actual lives of Palestinians, it’s important to undertake the work of centering and following Palestinians.

To set against my Zionist upbringing and my Hasbara education, here are some books and other resources that have been helpful in challenging and recalibration my understanding:

Men in the Sun, Ghassan Khanafani
https://www.amazon.com/Men-Sun-Other-Palestinian-Stories/dp/0894108573

The Drone Eats With Me, Atef Abu Seif
https://www.amazon.com/Drone-Eats-Me-Diaries-Under/dp/1905583710

Gaza as Metaphor, ed Helga Tawil-Souri and Dina Matar https://www.amazon.com/Gaza-as-Metaphor-Dina-Matar/dp/1849046247

Budrus, Just Vision https://www.justvision.org/budrus/watch 

Naila and the Uprising, Just Vision https://www.justvision.org/nailaandtheuprising/about

5 Broken Cameras, Eyad Burnat https://tubitv.com/movies/321995/5_broken_cameras?link-action=play&utm_source=google-feed&tracking=google-feed

Anyway, please follow and listen to Palestinians. On Twitter, a few:
@Lamis_Deek @4noura @Omar_Gaza @wafa_Gaza @AManInTheSun @Lexialex @lenapalestina @pal_legal @Rozb7aleeb