Abuse is inherent. A man will make a gesture that shows he has the potential to beat you in 1998 & only do so in 2009, 13 years into the marriage. While we unequivocally denounce abuse, we also need to implore women to stop being hopeful & walk away when they see the 1st sign https://twitter.com/femi_moji/status/1252030908250689539

Abusers have patterns and study their victims. Abusive men know women are forgiving and hopeful in nature and take advantage of that. If you don’t walk away at the first sign or sight of abuse (even a small gesture), his psychopathic ass will register it as leverage

Once these monsters master taking advantage of the hold they have on you, your victimology moves from just being a victim of abuse to “battered woman’s syndrome”. It’s a cycle of violence that involves gaslighting and you questioning your “contribution” to your own demise

As society, we need to direct all our efforts at the monster - abusive men, because there are no victims without perpetrators. However, it’s equally important to break the generational curse of “bekezeling” because it enables abuse.

While we do this, it’s also important for society to know that we cannot, under any circumstances, blame the victim. Abuse is a body of knowledge and perpetrators leverage on ‘The Theory Of Traumatic Bonding & Psychological Entrapment’, where the victim is attached to them

Women find it hard to walk away from abusive relationships once they get hooked to the psychological attachment trap set by their perpetrators.

My message to women is - walk away as early as possible. He won’t change. Put yourself first. It’s your marriage, not your uncle’s

Families and non-abusive men also enable and perpetuate abuse.

Gents, if your sister’s partner (married or not) lays his hand on her, he invites you into the relationship. Beat him to a pulp. Moer’a ntja!!

Batho ba makgakga because lwa ba tlogela. Ga lo ba moer’e