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Today I journaled about “being enough” or sufficiency. It dawned on me that at times we can feel enough yet unworthy. Contradictory but not necessarily mutually exclusive. Due to different factors like childhood trauma, circumstances growing up or when grown up already.
So we establish a foundation for ourselves and we do believe regardless that we good, we are enough and even become confident and acceptant of self. No matter the amount of times or events that come disturb the core belief that we are enough.
So no matter what anyone says or does we stay strongly rooted in self because we haven’t really attached to anyone to a point where words and actions affect us.
Then comes a time when because this belief has not been nurtured in a sustained manner and would still based on self worth; understanding that measuring worth based on a external source would be detrimental to ones growth and halt the quest to find internal equilibrium.
Something happens and boom we back to square one. The foundation is shaken and we have to rebuild again. These times of confinement have affected self worth and self confidence and self love for most of us. We can’t rely on whatever worked before confinement.
Because life is no longer the same, we are no longer the same and we won’t be the same after this. So comes the rat race of trying to stay on track at work, with friendships, family, relationships and other engagements to feel a sense of meaning, worth and sufficiency
i.e.: I have written a full report so am enough, I speak to all my friends even though maybe I am breaking down so am enough, I have woken up and dressed up so am better than a mere mortal in PJs, and the list goes on when trying to find relevance for one’s existence...
But truly we should just chill. And reevaluate to find out IN THE NOW, who are we now, what makes us enough and worth it that’s internal, intuitive and intrinsically our own to build a new foundation. Once that clarity is achieved, to know how to respect the belief and go by it.
To remember in all instances to check in with self and not be swayed by the need to go back to old ways but rather staying true to oneself!
