dear rich people with lots of money

you should buy some needlessly expensive books from us so you can show them off to people who come by

you don't even have to read them
you can literally buy the appearance of sophistication
people will ooh and aah at your good taste
sure you could buy art instead but books let people know that you're not just all talk, that you have real word thoughts inside you too

you can stand by them and say "yes it was a most interesting perspective" and no-one will challenge you because they haven't read it either
you can sit in front of them, hold parties near them, or just display them on coffee tables so that your mother in law will think "gee, I've misunderstood this person, what a catch"
stack them
organize them
juggle them

it's fun for ALL the family
they come in many colours and shades
In uncertain times like these, don't you want your executors and heirs to think "wow what a well read person this was" in the event of your untimely demise?

better yet, when you do eventually cark it, the books will probably be sold back into the trade to find a new home
you can INSTAGRAM THEM with filters and hashtags like #livingmybestlife because it's important people know this is part of your routine

you can do videos with them in the background all casual like

it's social media GOLD
people buying books just to collect them is one of the ways in which books survive over the centuries. it's part of the book ecosystem - taking on responsibility for something important so that it doesn't vanish into the aether forever
here is a link to needlessly expensive books

buy books (and then leave one to a distant relative in your will with a note attached reading 'WARN THEM')

keep this twitter goblin in a job 
You can follow @Sotherans.
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