I’ve literally silenced my street whatapps group for 48 hours by suggesting they pay the women who scrub their loos during the lock down. No one in the 2 mil £ houses wants to be first to change the subject to sourdough starters. You asked me to sing Les Mis with you. Step up.

I apologise to the Times journalist for posting this as it’s behind a paywall but it’s important. I love my street. I like my neighbours but please reassure me you are doing the right thing.