Like many, I’m still processing the terrorist attack in my home province of >30 years. I was in Vegas in 2017 when a terrorist attack happened across the street from where I was staying and outside N.S. this past weekend, yet this feels closer and infinitely scarier.

Another attack primarily targeting women. Another instance of intimate partner violence, past in this case as if that matters. Another man with a gun that serves NO constructive societal purpose. Leading to another set of vapid hashtags and banners for profile pictures.

I found myself today swinging between sadness for the victims and their loved ones and anger about the injustice of it all and that my province is grieving without being able to hug neighbours. Anger, and how many men process anger, is something we need to talk about and change.

My wife tells me that while I may not get angry often, I stay angry for a long time. I’ve always felt I’m pretty normal, so I suspect I’m not alone in believing that MY normal IS normal. I’ve come to understand my internalized slow burn isn’t healthy, physically or mentally.

Therein lies the risk that we men have to collectively address within ourselves and with each other. I don’t have answers, but it seems like many of these terrorist attacks are an aggression response to unresolved and often slow burn anger that the male perpetrator holds.

I can feel my blood pressure rising even as I type what I hoped would be a cathartic post. I’ve never been a huge fan of emotions, because I’m not in control, so I suppress instead of express. I hope that, probably with professional assistance, I can change that someday soon.