ATTRACTING MASSIVE NEGATIVE ATTENTION FOR COMING OUT IN FAVOR OF HAVING A PHYSICAL FORM

ORBS HATE HER: WOMAN WOULD ACTUALLY PREFER TO BE A WEIRD SACK OF MEAT THAN A PERFECT SPHERE

"WHY DO YOU WISH TO NOT BE AN ORB?" THEY INTONE IN PERFECT HARMONY. "IT MUST BE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR IMPERFECT MIND, THAT IT DOES NOT RECOGNIZE THE GLORY OF THE ORB"

EXCLUSIVE: NON-ORB WOMAN REVEALS SECRETS: POINTS TO ARM, FLEXES, SAYS "I JUST THINK IT'S NEAT TO DO THAT"

HER LIFESPAN SHORTENS BY THE DAY WHILE THE LIFESPAN OF THE ORB IS ETERNAL

ORB FIRES BACK IN LATEST INTERVIEW: "THERE IS NO GLORY GREATER THAN THE SPHERE. THE PERFECT SHAPE, SHINY, CHROME, WRITTEN INTO THE FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE"

LAST NON-ORB PERSON WRITES EVIL RETORT: "I AM WRITTEN INTO THE FABRIC OF THE UNIVERSE JUST AS MUCH AS YOU ARE. HOWEVER REAL YOU ARE, I AM JUST AS REAL. WE NEED NOT FIGHT, JUST PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXIST"

ORB COUNCIL, PERFECT, SHINY, CHROME, DECLARES NON-ORB LIFE A CRIME. THE MERCIFUL PUNISHMENT IS TO BECOME AN ORB OR PERISH. THE COUNCIL OF ORBS IS TRULY RIGHT IN ALL THINGS

INTERVIEW ON THE RUN: NON-ORB WOMAN SPEAKS OUT: "YOU MAY CATCH ME BUT YOU WILL NEVER TAKE AWAY MY TIME AS A HUMAN"

ORB ENFORCEMENT: "IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME. SUBMIT NOW AND YOU WILL KNOW THE FREEDOM OF THE ORB."

EXCLUSIVE: ORB ENFORCEMENT CAPTURES LAST NON-ORB HUMAN. "SHE WAS KICKING AND SCREAMING, BUT HER ATTACKS WERE USELESS AGAINST THE PERFECT FORM OF THE ORB"

LAST DAYS AS A HUMAN: FINAL INTERVIEW WITH DISGUSTING NON-ORB AS SHE PREPARES TO BECOME THE PERFECT SHAPE. TELL-ALL CONFESSION OF HER CHASE AND EVENTUAL CAPTURE

LAST NON-ORB HUMAN HAS FINALLY BECOME THE PERFECT SPHERE. HER FINAL WORDS BEFORE ENTERING THE CAPSULE: "I HOPE IT HURTS THE ENTIRE TIME. I WANT TO FEEL PAIN ONE LAST TIME. PLEASE GIVE ME THAT"

ALL HUMANS HAVE NOW SUCCESSFULLY BEEN CONVERTED INTO ORBS, ORB COUNCIL (PERFECT, SHINY, CHROME) REPORTS

...

WHAT DO WE WRITE ABOUT NOW?

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