CW sad times thread

8 years ago, my best friend of 12 years walked out of my life [ghosted me]

I knew her since I was 5. I was 17 and moving on to college when she broke contact.

In like, a month, that 12 years would've been 20.

8 years hasn't done much to temper the pain, except to make it easier to ignore.

The last moment I shared with her, I bought doughnuts and we ate them sitting on her bed. I was so... happy. I would have no clue why she ditched me for years.

The following years away from my parents healed me enough for me to be able to look back and see the absolute zuko I was. I don't blame her for ghosting me. I would've ghosted me.

The scant few moments I spent with her mom were glimpses into what a mom could be like. At the time being treated like a real human being by a mother figure made me so uncomfortable. Bc of how my own mother was. I miss the mom, too.

The trust she shared with her mother baffled me. I couldn't understand how that wasn't constantly abused. I wasn't emotionally mature enough at the time for that disparity to destroy me, but I sure am now.

Her dad was a dick

She doesn't even know I'm transfemme.

...or maybe she does, idk. Fuckin, everyone knew before I did. I was the hugest egg.

I've tried to apologise, but I'm not owed forgiveness, or even acknowledgement (I certainly haven't received either.)

This is worse than any romantic breakup I've ever had.

Idk why I'm making this thread

Maybe bc all of this has never been like, said to anyone? And I needed to say it?