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Just thinking about how "being gentle" was a completely foreign concept to me until my current relationship. Nearly seven years in and I'm still learning what gentility means, to be honest..
I remember one conversation where she was like "Can't you say that more gently?" And I paused, legit confused, because I literally had no idea what she was talking about. I asked "What exactly do you mean?" I actually needed to see and hear her model what gentility meant to her.
It's really cool when a partner is willing to model whatever words or behavior they'd like to receive from you. I had no prior context to understand what "gentle" meant because I had never experienced gentility in a relationship before. Ever..
And then, it's one thing to receive something and another altogether to provide it. She has a very gentle nature, which is a quality that I didn't even know to look for in another person until we met. But I have had to really learn how to be (more) gentle in return..
Gentility is still not my nature and may never be. I'm fire to her water, for sure. But she tells me that I am a lot more gentle now than ever before, which is a compliment I never even knew I wanted to receive..
For me, being a bit more gentle involves learning how to relax. The less stressed I am, the more at peace I feel, the easier it is to explore and express my "softer" side..
