it's 1am so i feel like i can tweet this quietly into the void and get this off my chest. to be absolutely candid, bad f/f takes remind me of the constant shit i've had to deal with my whole lesbian life. it's exhausting at the least, re-traumatizing at the worst. it blows.

some background: i didn't even consider i could be a lesbian until i was 21. compulsory heterosexuality is a different beast for lesbians, and this isn't uncommon.

it's not just that f/f is held to different standards, it's that women are taught not to take up space, and take this to heart, without even realizing it. mostly: it's exhausting trying to get people to consume or understand f/f without putting cis men somewhere in the equation.

it reminds me of the trauma that comes with being a lesbian - how cis men try to insert themselves in our spaces, or how even women try to insert cis men in our spaces, in an effort to "give" us "value." here's the thing: f/f isn't going to be written like heterosexuals or m/m.

f/f depicts a different experience. it functions without the male gaze but recognizes the trauma that comes from the male gaze. it's so incredibly complex and full of nuance. each work diversifies the genre. it's a beautiful art. people who write f/f do incredible work.

talk for "good f/f" is a moving goalpost. it's always: this one is toxic, this is too soft, this one is boring, this isn't gay enough - the list goes on. at some point you have to recognize the moving goalpost exists so you can make it "not as good without cis men" every time.

anyways thanks for listening!!! i'd say goodnight but i have insomnia so!!!! aha!!!