3 months ago i was diagnosed with clinical depression - (a thread)
What is depression? Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. It hinders you from doing normal day-to-day activities and sometimes leads you to a conclusion that life isn’t worth living.
I was bullied as a child for being fat. It definitely changed the way I look at myself now. Because of it, I now have body dysmorphia. I grew to hate my body.
Grade 5, I started having suicidal thoughts. It’s at that point of my life that made me think that everyone’s life would be better without me. I grew distant with my friends and family.
Grade 7, I started self-harming. I would cut my wrist and my legs until it starts to bleed and hurt. The pain made me forget about my problems temporarily and so I continued to do so everyday until I reached grade 9.
Grade 10, my depression worsened. I started to lose focus on my acads. I had 3 failed suicide attempts. “oa ra ka” “di man ka depressed” “patagad raman na imo” are a few of the statements that i received from friends and strangers.
At one point, I was ready to die. My cousins who are aware of my struggles notified my parents. They decided to get me into therapy with a psychiatrist. I had to take 5 types of medication every single day for three months. It was a hard 3 months but I did it.
Although treatable, depression isn’t curable. It stays. I still get bad days. I still have days where I feel like giving up. I still have nights where I cry myself to sleep. Having depression isn’t easy.
To everyone who has depression:

Don’t give up. Life gets better at some point. Maybe not now but good days will come. Don’t be afraid to open up to your parents or close friends. You are loved and worth it. Don’t let anyone say otherwise.
To anyone who knows someone with depression:

Be kind always. What they’re going through is not easy. Understand them. Be there for them. Let them feel your presence and make them feel loved. Even the little things are enough. Your efforts are appreciated.
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