Don& #39;t really know how to ask this so I guess I& #39;ll just start a discourse and ruin everyone& #39;s night: is it normal to not really have any overall positive romantic experiences until you get married? Is the model really "scrape your brain against the rock until it works somehow?"

I just feel like most significant romantic entanglements have been net disasters for me in terms of confidence, overall emotional health and stability, etc. Just doesn& #39;t seem sustainable.

Like I& #39;ve had multiple long-term extremely serious relationships and it just seems like what I& #39;ve gotten out of it is that my brain eats itself at a faster rate than before and I& #39;ve internalized a wider swath of neuroses. Is that just what happens?

To be clear, I basically start hyperventilating if I think too seriously about practically "asking someone out" because it& #39;s such a scary idea. I don& #39;t think that& #39;s normal?

Figure I& #39;ve got nothing to lose.