https://twitter.com/nosilverv/status/1252292980796506112

Memes aside, real talk:

Hard to untangle how much of this comes from within. I suspect high-scrupulosity people are particularly susceptible to generating this narrative internally

Externally: "Man up." or "Do better." Lots of shame directives found all around

There's also a bit of un-knowableness about this, that I keep wondering about

If somebody is super aloof, awkward, and making you uncomfortable, it's both true that:
- that doesn't mean they don't deserve to feel human connection, AND
- that doesn't mean you're obliged to be it

But if *everybody* exercises their totally understandable choice to set their boundaries on this person, how are they going to find that connection?

(was going to put this in 3rd person but seems kinda a cop out and privileged, so will put it in 1st)

I'm sure any of my past/present employers wouldn't want to see me languish in unemployment or want for money

but that doesn't mean they have to employ an underperformer

and so on and so forth.

So it feels almost like there's a bit of a paradoxical thing going on:
- I (3rd person feels condescending) can "improve myself", in ways that may not feel totally in line with the person I meet when I,
- get to better know myself https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1252292571939827712?s=20

I guess where this thread/conversation lands for me is best summed up by a quote I heard somewhere about alcohol addiction in a rlship

The addict is discouraged because there's more than the addiction; fixing his addiction doesn't fix the distance it created with his spouse