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Looks likely I’ll be booted out of my parents’ apartment once this pandemic is contained.
Or as my dad said “when the COVID-19 incidence is over. I will reassess”
Anyone need a roommate who has no job & dwindling credit?
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Fuck.
Or as my dad said “when the COVID-19 incidence is over. I will reassess”
Anyone need a roommate who has no job & dwindling credit?
Fuck.
I’ve been keeping to myself in my room this past month and out of the blue my dad sent me an email this morning (yes we live in the same 2 br apt) expressing how worried he was about the way I was responding to the covid-19 “incident”. He thinks I fear death so much I can’t move.
He’s so off the mark but I understand that interpretation. The part that killed me is that he typed “I wash my hands dutifully to avoid contaminating people I care about.” which is a lie. I’ve watched him. My bedroom is next to the washroom with very thin walls. No washing.
He went on & on about him facing death many times. He was probably thinking he was being fatherly. Let’s just say we don’t have a history of a peaceful coexistence.
I probably should’ve taken more time to respond because I was super blunt. His usual reaction is defensive.
I probably should’ve taken more time to respond because I was super blunt. His usual reaction is defensive.
I called him on the hand washing & told him I had lost respect for him when he demonstrated through his actions that he was unwilling to do the min to protect not just his loved ones but everyone.
I didn’t acknowledge his attempt at showing he cares so he got defensive.
I didn’t acknowledge his attempt at showing he cares so he got defensive.
Here’s the thing. My dad is good with words. Charms with eloquent stories, but his actions don’t match.
I told him I was keeping to myself for my own mental health. I leave him in peace & I don’t harm anyone, but he just responds like I owe him gratitude & an explanation.
I told him I was keeping to myself for my own mental health. I leave him in peace & I don’t harm anyone, but he just responds like I owe him gratitude & an explanation.
And that’s why I asked “If that is too uncomfortable for you to continue living under the same roof then be upfront about that. I will look for an alternative.”
His response “When the COVID-19 incidence is over. I will reassess.”
It’s not my home so it’s his call. Fuck.
His response “When the COVID-19 incidence is over. I will reassess.”
It’s not my home so it’s his call. Fuck.
I knew when I moved from Vancouver in my own place to Ottawa in my parents’ apartment it would be the hardest thing for me to do. That was before the global pandemic. It got worse. To avoid conflict I kept to myself. It worked for a month. I never know what sets off my dad.
But when I had a breakdown (for lack of a better term) in Vancouver I couldn’t work therefore afford living there. I tried. I was a mess. I’m stronger now but my credit score got fucked & that’s crucial in Vancouver. I don’t know yet if I’m stable enough to keep a full-time job.
My mom had asked me to live with her & my dad. I resisted for months but what were the alternatives? I’ve had food, a bed, and even therapy sessions. I couldn’t provide for myself.
I will never expose my inner self to my dad. He’s not safe. He’s a bully. I don’t owe him my Self.
I will never expose my inner self to my dad. He’s not safe. He’s a bully. I don’t owe him my Self.
I was trying to get my feet back on solid ground & started to feel somewhat ok when this pandemic hit. Does it ever highlight people’s true nature. I’ve been thinking about who I need to keep & let go in my life.
My dad is a package deal with my mom & brother. How do I let go?
My dad is a package deal with my mom & brother. How do I let go?
I spoke to my mom a bit about my exchange with my dad. He had cc’ed her & my brother but the next reply he removed my brother then by his final reply he removed my mom.
He was ok with them seeing his response as long as he looked like the caring dad. I made sure to cc everyone.
He was ok with them seeing his response as long as he looked like the caring dad. I made sure to cc everyone.
She said “I don’t think he knows what he wants.” She thinks he was just blowing steam & thought I should block his email.
I asked why it doesn’t bother her that he treats her daughter this way.
“If he could he would find his own place but he can’t.”
I asked again why she stays.
I asked why it doesn’t bother her that he treats her daughter this way.
“If he could he would find his own place but he can’t.”
I asked again why she stays.
It would be too much of a financial & emotional burden to go through a divorce now.
She thinks he’s “an idiot” (her words) and that he doesn’t really know what he’s doing.
I call BS.
I said the alternative would be that he deliberately hurts & bullies knowing what he’s doing.
She thinks he’s “an idiot” (her words) and that he doesn’t really know what he’s doing.
I call BS.
I said the alternative would be that he deliberately hurts & bullies knowing what he’s doing.
I can see why it feels better to think that my dad doesn’t know what he’s doing so my mom can just say “that’s just the way he is.”
I don’t want my mom to suffer. I’ll leave her in her delusion, but I told her “I know that’s not true & he could choose to behave differently”
I don’t want my mom to suffer. I’ll leave her in her delusion, but I told her “I know that’s not true & he could choose to behave differently”
So many women settle for shitty men.
Days like this I’m thankful I’m gay. Not to say women don’t have abusive relationships - they certainly do - but in my experience there isn’t as much patriarchal bullshit to unlearn.
To the women who found good men: congratulations!https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😄" title="Smiling face with open mouth and smiling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and smiling eyes">
Days like this I’m thankful I’m gay. Not to say women don’t have abusive relationships - they certainly do - but in my experience there isn’t as much patriarchal bullshit to unlearn.
To the women who found good men: congratulations!
To the men out there who actively dismantle their own patriarchal indoctrination & make efforts to show genuine caring, compassion & respect through their deeds as much as their words... thank you.
You give me hope that the world won’t always be filled with assholes.
You give me hope that the world won’t always be filled with assholes.
To everyone who took the time to read my ranting thread: thank you.
Sometimes twitter folks are lifelines even when they’re just quietly observing, offering up a space for me to vent.
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I’m now going to go shoot people in a video gamehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😜" title="Winking face with tongue" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face with tongue">
Sometimes twitter folks are lifelines even when they’re just quietly observing, offering up a space for me to vent.
I’m now going to go shoot people in a video game
