[ #Kiribakuweek2020 day one: Actors AU]
Fic is SFW but there is NSFW language because I love watching those "celebrity reads thirst tweets" thing, so you know I had to make Bakugou do it.

Bakugou settles in the heavy lights as everyone around him scrambles to get set-up. A nervous intern attaches his mic, and he raises an eyebrow at her. The poor girl squeaks and hurries off, and rushes to grab the container full of thirst tweets.

“Okay,” she says, as he takes it from her, “all you have to do is-”
“Read the tweets and be funny,” Bakugou says flatley, “I’ve seen the videos.”
“O-oh. Okay.”
She seems put off by his bluntness, but Bakugou hates wasting time.

He’s got nine other interviews today, and he was on set the time they had Kirishima do this for his last movie. Explaining something he already knows is a waste of time.

Bakugou waits until everyone else is settled, and he’s signaled to start. “‘Sup, I’m Katsuki Bakugou and today I’ll be reading your thirst tweets.”
He flashes his Movie Worthy™ smile at the camera, and roots around the giant jug he was given to find a tweet.

“‘Bakugou can have this bussy anytime, anywhere,’” Bakugou reads, pulling his eyebrows together in confusion. “What the fuck is a bussy? Actually, no, that sounds like something my co-star Kaminari would say. I don’t want to know.”

Bakugou folds up the paper and tosses it to the floor like they had Kirishima do last time. They’d both stayed after and helped the intern pick them all up, and he plans on doing so again.

“We’re off to a great start,” Bakugou says, flashing another smile as he pulls out another piece of paper. “‘I want Bakugou to break my back like a glowstick.’ That’s a helluva visual. I probably could though.”
He folds the paper up again and tosses it to the floor.

He digs through more and grabs one from the bottom.
“‘It’s two AM and all I’m thinking about is Bakugou ramming his dick so far down my throat that I vomit and him making me lick it off of his balls.’ Fucking disgusting, all of you,” he says, scrunching his nose.

He folds it up and tosses it away with disdain. That’s an image he won’t be getting out of his head anytime soon.

“I feel like there’s much more productive things to be doing at 2 AM,” Bakugou says, rooting around for another good one, “Surely, there must be. Alright, let’s see what we’ve got. ‘I wanna smother myself in Bakugou’s big boobies. Sounds like the perfect way to die.’”

Bakugou snorts and tosses the paper away. He flashes the camera his best sexy smirk and makes his pecs dance.
“That ones just for you,” he says, laughing. He forces himself not to roll his eyes as he picks out another one.

“‘Bakugou could sit on my face and ride me like a caveman any day of the week.’ Some of these, I just. What the fuck?”
He tosses that one away and picks up another piece of paper. On it, is a picture of himself on set.

He’s supposed to be post-battle, with blood and sweat all over his body, grinning victoriously with his sword pressed against Kaminari’s character's throat.
“‘Being Bakugou’s simp is a full-time job, and I’m dedicated,’” Bakugou reads, laughing.

“This one is almost sweet compared to the other ones.”
Before he can toss the paper out, he catches a look at the username and profile picture. They’ll blur it out before posting the video, but for Bakugou it’s on full display.

He recognizes the person in the picture, and tries his best not to react as he drops the paper.

“Alright, let’s end on that high note,” Bakugou says, when the director gives him the cue to wrap it up. “This has been thirst tweets with me, Katsuki Bakugou. See ya later, nerds.”

_____
Bakugou gets home to his shared apartment late, exhausted from all the interviews. It’s one downside of getting to play his favorite hero on the big screen, all the fucking interviews that comes from promoting the movie.

Luckily, most of them were with Kaminari and that guy can talk until the cows come home.
He grins mischievously as he notices Kirishima curled up on the couch, watching some cheesy horror movie.

Kirishima has got his wide-eyes locked on the screen, and the ridiculous light-up cat earphones that Kaminari’s boyfriend gave him a few years ago, so he doesn’t hear Bakugou approach.

Bakugou drops his hands onto his shoulders and Kirishima yelps, tossing his laptop halfway across the room.
Bakugou doesn’t let him recover as he leans forward and whispers in his ear, “Being your simp is a full-time job, and I’m dedicated.”

Kirishima’s face whitens more at Bakugou’s words than the scare.
“H-how do you know about that?” he asks, voice coming out high-pitched in his panic.
Bakugou grins and hops over the back of the couch and narrowly avoids crushing Kirishima’s legs in the process.

“Read some thirst tweets with Buzzfeed and guess who showed up,” Bakugou says, grinning lazily at him. “TheBakugouKatsukiStan0153. Why 0153? Figured you’d go for number one.”
Kirishima’s face reddens and shoves at Bakugou with his feet.

“That was a long time ago - like before I got my first gig, even and definitely before I met you. Also, 0153 makes the trademark sign if you hold down the alt button, so. But that was a long time ago, and I don’t want to talk about it!”
Bakugou tilts his head and fakes a pout.

“Awwe, are you saying you wouldn’t simp for me now?” he asks, innocently batting his eyelashes at him.
“Shut up,” Kirishima says, looking away with a blush.
He pouts, and Bakugou decides he’s done being cruel.

He crawls upwards and traps Kirishima in between the couch and his body. He uses one hand to keep himself hovering above Kirishima, and the other to force him to look at him.
“Hey,” he murmurs, “I’d simp for you, too.”
Kirishima bites his fingers.
“Not funny.”

“Not trying to be,” he says, scrunching his nose at the spit on his fingers.
“Oh,” Kirishima says, softly.
“Oh,” Bakugou mimics.
Kirishima pouts up at him, but Bakugou kisses it away, so he figures it’s fine.

_______________
“Is Kaminari as dumb as he looks?” Bakugou reads, grinning maniacally.
Kaminari whines and pouts at him, in that overdramatic way that drives his fans crazy.
Bakugou just rolls his eyes as Kaminari barks out, “Mean! Okay, your turn.”

Kaminari reaches for another board of auto-completed sentences. He balances it on his hip so the camera can see, and pulls a strip of paper off.
“Is Bakugou deaf?” Kaminari reads.
Bakugou snorts, “No, you idiot, just my character.”

“Why are you acting like I’m the one asking?” Kaminari whines. “These aren’t from me!”
“They’re stupid enough to be,” Bakugou says, earning himself another patented Kaminari whine. “Stop whining and pull another one.”

“Fine. ‘Is Bakugou dating anyone?’ Oooh, scandalous,” Kaminari jokes, making Bakugou kick him.
“As a matter of fact, I am. I am dating the biggest Katsuki Bakugou simp in the world, Eijirou Kirishima.”
Kaminari chokes on his tongue and smacks Bakugou with the board.

Bakugou blocks it with a grin.
“Dude! He’s totally gonna kill you for that,” he laughs.
“Payback for posting the mushy birthday post,” Bakugou says.
Kaminari shakes his head disappointedly, “Ungrateful.”

Bakugou’s grin lasts the rest of the interview and he happily rides home with the hottest actor and simp he’s ever known.

~Fin~
I'm so sorry for like. All of this.