every day that passes, I have to laugh harder to keep from crying, which is why I was cackling at midnight about turnips in Aminal Crossing and now I'm cackling about the

negative prices for crude oil

The harder i laugh the harder it is to get air in my lungs

this is how I end

WHEEZING

HORSE SHIT, LITERAL HORSE SHIT, IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

EMPTY COKE CANS ARE WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

ONE SINGLE DRYERSHEET IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

ONE CUP OF COFFEE IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

FIVE INCHES OF YARN IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

ONE SINGLE PAPER NAPKIN IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

PANCAKE MIX IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

A SINGLE PENCIL IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

A DISPOSABLE COFFEE STIRRER IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

GREEN SOURCES OF RENEWABLE ENERGY ARE WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL RIGHT NOW

LAUGHING. MY. ENVIROMENTALIST ASS OFF. SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW, I HAVE BEEN NONSTOP LAUGHING FOR 10 MINUTES

YESTERDAY'S LITERAL GARBAGE IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

oh god gave myself a headache from laughing

my two cent opinions are worth more than crude oil

my share of the Uncaged Anthology revenue sharing [ .19 cents USD per PDF copy sold]

IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

my most banged up Pokemon Card from 1999 is worth more than crude oil

A PENNY IS WORTH MORE THAN CRUDE OIL

the Sega that my mom bought me in high school for my birthday that my sister's escaped hamster ended up destroying by chewing a cord specific to the sega (thus ruining it) is worth more rn than crude oil

excuse me internet while I buy more crude oil than I could ever possibly use with one single american cent

cars that are considered lemons are worth more than crude oil

the adhesive used to seal envelopes is worth more than crude oil

scotch tape is worth more than crude oil

a literal stamp from the post office is worth more than crude oil

my VHS collection is worth more than crude oil

Similarly, my VHS is worth more than crude oil

Crystal Pepsi and the Hi-C Ecto Cooler drinks are worth more than crude oil

a rusty chainsaw with no motor is more valuable than crude oil

my handme down couch from the 1980s is worth more than crude oil

the unwanted spiders in my house are worth more than crude oil

my Rose Quartz Pop figure is worth more than crude oil

my yankee candles are worth more than crude oil