I feel like one thing that's been really interesting for me in this time is the realization that I've spent too much time in my life before this living in a fantasy of future happiness or success. And it's disconcerting at first to have shift away from that.

It feels sad and like a loss. But now it's been really empowering to let go of that idea, that my happiness or success is in the future. I know it's all present thinking or whatever. I've just never been FORCED into it and now here I am and it's been freeing. Power of now, man.

And the other trap is to look back and regret or get angry at how things could have been different. But then you realize it just is what it is and there will never be any changing it. And it's all got me right here right now. That's probably the hardest for me to remember.

Anyway. I've never in my life been able to live in this place. And it's made me really unhappy at times. This isn't negative or positive, really. It just is. As you can maybe tell, car therapy has been doing well for me in the last 2 weeks and I get to have more this afternoon!