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When I tell people my partner died, some ask how I have coped, that they couldn't imagine what it's like.
To provide some in sight, the global shutdown echoes what & how I felt & feel about life.
When my partner died, my life STOPPED, suddenly, irrevocably, shockingly >
To provide some in sight, the global shutdown echoes what & how I felt & feel about life.
When my partner died, my life STOPPED, suddenly, irrevocably, shockingly >
> The trauma I experienced was immense & made 'reality' surreal. I couldn't feel my body, I couldn't hear 'normally', everything was magnified.
There was no 'normal' & there never would be again. >
There was no 'normal' & there never would be again. >
> When SUCH a MASSIVE part of you is ripped from you, killed & irretrievably lost, gone, real, but intangible, the question of what is real & what isn't is unanswerable. >
> NOTHING is 'real' any more, nothing is concrete.
I didn't feel my feet touch the ground, nothing made sense.
Articulate as I am, I could not articulate any of it either, try as I might. >
I didn't feel my feet touch the ground, nothing made sense.
Articulate as I am, I could not articulate any of it either, try as I might. >
> There are NO rules, NO 'usual', no 'me', there was an us, but that had been shattered.
Reassessing my own being became an existentialist crisis in itself.
I'd lost my home, I was spiritually, emotionally homeless. >
Reassessing my own being became an existentialist crisis in itself.
I'd lost my home, I was spiritually, emotionally homeless. >
> There is no life without love & my beloved was dead in this world & I stuck here.
It is the biggest threat to life there is, trying to process the fact that who you are is gone, it's a death in itself. >
It is the biggest threat to life there is, trying to process the fact that who you are is gone, it's a death in itself. >
> There are NO rules, NO 'usual', no 'me', there was an us, but that had been shattered.
Reassessing my own being became an existentialist crisis in itself.
I'd lost my home, I was spiritually, emotionally homeless. >
Reassessing my own being became an existentialist crisis in itself.
I'd lost my home, I was spiritually, emotionally homeless. >
> There is no life without love & my beloved was dead in this world & I stuck here.
It is the biggest threat to life there is, trying to process the fact that who you are is gone, it's a death in itself. >
It is the biggest threat to life there is, trying to process the fact that who you are is gone, it's a death in itself. >
> The light went out, I stopped breathing, laughter extinct, happiness an anathema, I had all of that & it died in me, suffocated, fighting for life, trying to decide if there was a point. >
