I'm realizing that a lot of women don't want a total liberation of women from patriarchy, they just want to be free from the overtly violent aspects while keeping the aspects which are beneficial to them. They want a benevolent Patriarchy.

From: Ambivalent sexism theory (Glick & Fiske, 1996)
distinguishes sexism on two complementary and
mutually reinforcing dimensions: hostile and
benevolent.

Hostile sexism (HS) characterizes women as easily offended, unappreciative of and seeking to gain power over men, and manipulative with their sexuality.

Benevolent sexism (BS) places women on a pedestal and affirms their inherent purity, morality, and defenselessness. These attitudes arise from a desire to protect the beloved and weak (protective paternalism), a need for complementary gender differentiation.

Women who reject traditional gender roles by being feminists or career-oriented are the targets of hostile sexism, while those who adhere to the domestic norms for their gender by being homemakers and mothers are the recipients of benevolent sexism.

Hostile Sexism is expressed towards those who are promiscuous and Benevolent Sexism towards those who are "chaste". The two ideologies thus act as a system of rewards and punishments that prevent total gender equality.

Studies of men & women's attitudes on this matter show that while men consistently endorse hostile sexist attitudes more strongly than women do, women tend to reject hostile sexism while still endorsing benevolent sexism. RE: my OP.
Women want to have their cake and eat it too.

Though subjectively positive in nature, benevolent sexism is a subtle and pernicious form of bias that shares the same ideological underpinnings as more blatantly hostile forms of sexism, studies show women are negatively affected in a number of ways that are not positive:

For ex:
- Women exposed to benevolent sexism show decreased cognitive performance
- less motivation to engage in social activism that could benefit them,
- increased levels of body surveillance and shame and greater system justification for the patriarchal status quo

And to add to it, non-black men with high levels of benevolent sexist attitudes are more likely to express racist attitudes as well. White men that these divesters worship so much are more likely to be anti-black toward Black women and women of color.

One key component of BS is protective paternalism. It's expressed more toward White women than Black women. The notion that women are defenseless & require male relatives and social institutions to safeguard their chastity & well-being is the basis of White womanhood.

Protective paternalism benefits white women by protecting them from “hypersexual” and “ruthless” Black people. As such, it has been used to justify violence against Black men in particular and leniency of sentencing for White women criminal offenders.

The implicit assumption in studies of benevolent sexism find that the White females are seen as more closely aligned with BS ideals of fragility, purity, and need for protection, while the Black females are not.

Thus, having been denied the same benefits of benevolent sexism that White women have been afforded, many Black women will endorse & prefer relationships based on Protective Paternalism & Benevolent sexist ideals because itd mean they've achieved full femininity under patriarchy.