READING "FIFTY SHADES OF ALICE IN WONDERLAND": A THREAD
i just realized i have to use my headphones because i don& #39;t want my mom to hear it
i guess this thread will be full of spoilers?? nevermind, enjoy, i will start it now
OMG NO ALICE& #39;S BOYFRIEND IS CALLED LEWIS AKA THE AUTHOR OF ALICE& #39;S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND NO NO NO
I quote Lewis here: "I know I& #39;m not very good at sex"
AND ALICE SAID SHE NEVER HAD AN ORGASM AND NEVER EVEN CAME CLOSE
HELP ME!!!
I CAN& #39;T FUCKING BREATHE LEWIS SAID THEY SHOULD PRACTICE FOR HAVING BETTER SEX AND HE GIFTS HER A VIBRATOR WITH RABBIT EARS AS BALLS
HE SAW HER TITS, CAME AND FEEL ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEADOW
SHE WANTED TO USE THE WHITE RABBIT VIBRATOR BUT IT HOPS AWAY JJDJWKXJSJ
ah yes she& #39;s in the rabbit hole and drinks the "Drink Me" bottle and INSTEAD OF MAKING HER SHRINK OR SOMETHING, HER BREASTS GROW LARGER AND SHE& #39;S GETTING HORNY
okay she& #39;s naked now?
she& #39;s walking over a fields of biiiiiig thiiiiccc mushrooms that kind of reminds her of something...
there& #39;s a portuguese guy in a leather outfit with a caterpillar tattoo who owns the mushrooms and he walks into a cabin AND SHE FOLLOWS HIM OF COURSE and he& #39;s like "?????why tf are you in my house???"
lmao i like this guy he& #39;s like "what fool drink a potion without knowing what it is"
okay he just showed her a specific "room" and in order to get the horny making potion out of her (otherwise she& #39;ll die of course), he must tie her to the wall?? AND THE SAFEWORD IS "CATERPILLAR" (WHICH IS THE GUYS NAME)
the room is described as a dark dungeon with cages, whips and what not AND GUESS WHAT IT& #39;S CALLED??? "THE PINK ROOM OF BUNNIES"
he& #39;s touching and spanking her, at first she was like "???? tf u doing", now she& #39;s like "don& #39;t be shy, put some more"
SHE MOANED "CATERPILLAR" AKA THIS GUYS NAME BUT IT& #39;S ALSO THE SAFEWORD AND HE STOPPED AND THEY& #39;RE BOTH LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE "?????????"
the poor audiobook narrator i& #39;m-
I CAN& #39;T FUCKING BREATHE he tied her on a wall and legit said (AND I QUOTE): "I CAN& #39;T SEE WHAT I& #39;M DOING, I MUST SHAVE YOU"
okay they& #39;re having the classis 50sog sex now AND THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY DETAILS I DON& #39;T WANT THIS
THERE ARE SO MANY DETAILS I CAN& #39;T TWEET THEM THEY& #39;RE TOO MUCH
yaaaay she finally had her first orgasm :))
they finished and he& #39;s like "you know what.... LET& #39;S DO IT AGAIN tO mAkE sUrE tHe PoTiOn iS oUt oF yOuR sYsTeM"
he& #39;s looking at her and said (i quote one again): "You look so beautiful like this, I should call in townspeople and sell tickets for them to watch" damn boi chile-
he unties her and is like "goodbye now"
she: "can& #39;t i stay?"
he: "no"
HE& #39;S YEETING HER OUT THE CABIN
she& #39;s naked and she can& #39;t just go outside, so she asked him if she can borrow something to wear AND HE BRINGS HER BLACK LEATHER BOOTS??? NOTHING ELSE??? WHY TF DOES HE HAVE SIZE 7 BLACK LEATHER BOOTS AT HOME
alright she& #39;s walking over the field of mushroom dicks again
she met a new man called dick (of course, why not) and he said there& #39;s a big "raindbow party" going on which is "a lot of fun" please don& #39;t let it be a gangbang PLEASE
CHESHIRE IS MASTURBATING
THE MAN CALLED DICK IS A POLICE-STRIPPER
let me explain what a "rainbow party" is (according to the book): putting on different shades of lipstick, sucking some dick :) and then the dick looks like a raindbow because of the different lipstick shades :)))helpme)))))
they have said "magnificent tits" at least 5 times now-
sorry i needed a break, i almost puked (this is no joke), BUT I& #39;M BACK NOW AND THIS WOMAN WAS LIKE "LICK MY BOOTS" SO THE GUY DID
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