am i the only fanboy who gets insecure of bts at some point of my life? im not toxic, but damn,its so hard, fangirls will never understand. it's in my feeling also as a male as bts, and they already achieved their dream, and im here still dreaming but nothing's happening.

everytime i watch bts daily life, their performances, their fancams, i always get insecured like sumn about me stanning them isn't right for my mental health. i always have the tendancy where i get soo jealous of them,+++

to the point where all the luxury items they have, i must have too, and that insecurity costed me a lot tbh, because i just can't stop myself thinking at how succesful they are. I have the same dream in life, but nothing's really working for me at all.

they are so perfect, maybe that's why. Everytime i watch their faces, it just makes me question my parents for making an ugly hooman like me. Their perfectness, them having it all, them having all the love they deserve, it just makes me soo desperate to become succesful someday.

maybe i badly expressed my insecurity. My insecurity must push me to become my better self and give me the motivation to work harder, but what's wrong is that i pushes myself too much to be like them, to be as rich, as handsome, as talented, as perfect as them.

i think now I understand why oli london treated himself that way. Insecurity really harms and pushes people to do something and to be someone perfect.

Being insecure did not make me a toxic army, everyone has insecurities, either it's someone succesful, someone beautiful, to whoever. i think i became too harsh on myself because i want to be succesful so bad and so fast.

but remembering how bts started from nothing it always strengthens me and clear away all jealousy and insecurities. I might be no one from now, but if I work hard like they do, ill get what i deserve.

from bts i learned that life is not all about bling blings, chanel and gucci's, happiness and fullfillment of love. It takes hardwork and patience to achieve your dreams, and you can't just jump to the finish line where ur not even at the start yet.

im sorry if yall will think im toxic for being insecure for bts, but i think it's normal for a fanboy to feel that way since we're also boys like them. I have the same insecurity of being as handsome and perfect as them. But i love bangtan, i support them forever.