Thread by @ChuckWendig, HOW TO WRITE A NOVEL DURING COVID-19 LOCKDOWN:1. open document2. stare at [...]

Chuck Wendig

ChuckWendig

HOW TO WRITE A NOVEL DURING COVID-19 LOCKDOWN:
1. open document
2. stare at it
3. stare through it
4. deep breath
5. okay here we go
6. begin to type furiously, chicka-chacka-clacka
7. realize you've written a tweet about writing a novel instead of actually writing a novel oh no

okay I'm gonna write it not
write it for REAL
it's time to write my fuckin masterpiece
my LOCKDOWN OPUS
my QUARANTOUR DE FORCE
wait did I check Turnip Prices on Animal Crossing yet hold on
okay okay okay that's not a novel I can do this I CAN DO THIS
gonna
do
my
god
damn
best

shit my kid needs math help hold on

you know what, turns out, I can't actually do 3rd grade math, and that's fine, I'm okay with it, honestly that's why I became a novelist anyway, so I can invent imaginary people and torment them like ants under magnifying glasses

so, back to it

back to noveling!

*stares at the horizon*

*tries to think of words, any words, not even in a meaningful order*

you know what, YOU KNOW WHAT, the old saying holds true, writers must also be readers, so I'll goose the machine, I'll juice the sluice, lube the ol' brain-chute with somebody ELSE's words, yessss time to read a book, time to prime the pump

YEAH YAY BOOKS WOO

I just re-read the same paragraph seven times

I still don't know what it said

is this even a book

am I trying to read a microwave or a placemat

have I broken words

have words broken me

well, I mean, better check Twitter, just see what's going on in the worl--

okay that wasn't helpful, do not, I repeat, do NOT check Twitter

ooh you know what, I just need to spark my creativity in another direction -- seize that energy into something crafty, something not-a-book that will then help me write-a-book, let's see, let's just check the Internet and

okay I'm into the APPLE DRESSER but do I need some kind of homesteading toilet, is that a thing I need

maybe it is

I don't even know what I need anymore

I'm sure I'm handy, I can put my handiness skills to good use, maybe I should plant some plants

or bake some goods, I could definitely eat some bread right about now, some nice homemade bread

no

NO

I am a writer

the writer WRITES

even in times of tumult and duress the writer must write

so here I go

writing in 3

2

1

WRITE YOU MOTHERFUCKER WRITE

maybe coffee will help

wait but how did this whiskey get here

wait hold on

I think I feel something

a little creative spark

a bit of zip, a bit of zap

HERE WE GO, I'M WRITING

I mean, okay, it's only a 100 words, but I've got the whole day ahead of m--

*checks time*

*it's 5pm*

You can follow @ChuckWendig.

Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: