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In the last hour of his life, I was there holding his hand. The other people in his room in the ICU were his wife and other family members. They shared their favorite stories about his life, laughing and crying as we all faced his imminent death.
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It was heart-wrenching and personally devastating. This was the first person I had operated on as the attending surgeon and wasn’t able to save.
I had hoped to get him out of the hospital so he could die in the comfort of his own home.
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I had hoped to get him out of the hospital so he could die in the comfort of his own home.
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He died in the hospital, but unlike the patients we are caring for now, he was surrounded by people who loved and cared for him.
Last night, I watched one of my colleagues call a patient’s family to tell them she was doing worse.
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Last night, I watched one of my colleagues call a patient’s family to tell them she was doing worse.
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The best thing she could offer them was a video call for them to be able to say goodbye.
I watched as she calmly held her phone up for family members to come on the screen and express their love for the patient.
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I watched as she calmly held her phone up for family members to come on the screen and express their love for the patient.
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Their voices cracked, and though they weren’t speaking English, I could hear their pain.
For a moment, I imagined having to say goodbye to my mother this way. To not be able to be there, to not be able to hold her hand, to not be able to hug her.
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For a moment, I imagined having to say goodbye to my mother this way. To not be able to be there, to not be able to hold her hand, to not be able to hug her.
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And I watched my colleague, who amazingly kept her composure until they had said everything they wanted to say. It was only after they hung up that I saw the tears well up in her eyes.
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I know people are protesting because they don’t want to stay home. I know millions have lost their jobs. I know we are all hurting.
But I also know we are making progress. The number of COVID deaths a day is going down.
https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-data.page
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But I also know we are making progress. The number of COVID deaths a day is going down.
https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/covid/covid-19-data.page
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That does not mean it’s all over and we go back to what used to be our normal lives, no matter how much we want to.
What it does mean is that social distancing is working, and hospitals will have a chance to catch up.
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What it does mean is that social distancing is working, and hospitals will have a chance to catch up.
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If we had started sheltering in place earlier, we likely could have saved a lot of lives. We can make excuses for why this happened the way it did. Regardless, we know better now than to risk everyone’s lives by going backward.
Don’t we?
#StayHome
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Don’t we?
#StayHome
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