I want to see Dazai’s self assured cockiness that he knows Chuuya flawlessly crumble to pieces. He said “You haven’t changed, Chuuya” with such indifferent bravado but I want him to realize Chuuya *has* changed. Without him. And I want it to *kill* something inside Dazai

Itd be the subtle things. After reuniting at the dungeon they see each other occasionally. It’s inevitable. And at first Dazai doesnt pay attention. Sure, he has a soft spot for the slug—they grew up together, they’re ex-partners—but Chuuya was part of the past he left behind

And Dazai keeps his past tied up in a neat little bow. He never touches it or thinks abt it. It was juvenile. Boring. Filled to the brim w blood and depravity. Those days are over. Hes changed. People change

He just never thought Chuuya would. And boy, was that a fucking mistake

The first time he noticed happened on a meeting w the PM: it was procedure, whatever, he didnt want to attend bc Mori and the chibi’d be there and he’d really rather not but Kunikida dragged him to it and if he stayed in the corner and half paid attention he’ll get through it

It’s just an hour. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Right?

Dazai gets through about 2 minutes before he’s bored out of his mind. He turns to Kunikida to annoy him but the man is furiously scribbling down notes in his ideal book. Atsushi’s sitting with Junichirou and Kyouka ergo too far away to bother so ...

Dazais eyes wander around the room and it’s small, okay, theres not much to see there’s Hirotsu, Gin, that Tachihara guy, Ane-san, and the same old, same old *Chuuya* who’s—surprise surprise—giving a shit about this meeting even though its so obvious he’d rather *not* be here he

Doesnt show as much clear signs of boredom but ofc Dazai knows *any minute now* he’ll take off that god awful hat and run his hands through his hair—when did he grow it out anyway? Whatever. No big deal its always been long—and /look/ he’s doing it now and

—wait. ex-*cuse* me?

/When the fuck did Chuuya get that scar on his neck/

Dazai spends the *entire meeting* honing in on it. It had been hidden behind that stupid long strand of hair up until now and he must’ve not noticed it at the dungeon bc of how dark it was but what the FUCK it’s *DEEP* INTO Chuuya’s neck and it mustve ran down to his collarbones

And judging by how *faded* it is, Chuuya’s had it *for a while* and logically, yeah, he’s mafia, he’s an executive, yes, he *would* have gotten new battle scars and wounds and stitches galore these past 4 years but for some reason Dazai never really *thought* about it till now

Chuuya had always been .. well, Chuuya. Since they were 15 he hadnt really changed much. Sure, he got a few weird haircuts and gaudy clothes and thanks to Ane-san an *exorbenantly* expensive taste for vintage wine and that dumb motorcycle and the *arsenal* of chokers but

He had always been *Chuuya* Easy, predictable, doggy Chuuya he could tease for hours and tug on a leash and make him sit, stay, fetch. Chuuya who’s trantrums were as forseeable as a nursery rhyme youve memorized since infancy. Chuuya who’d get sloppy drunk after one glass. Chuuya

Who was a sore loser. Chuuya who pretended *not* to cry during those dumb rom coms him and Koyou watched on weekends. Chuuya who’d come and save him bc he didnt have a choice but he did he only said that to be a brat. That was Chuuya. Classic Chuuya. *Dazai’s* Chuuya

And Dazai may have left the mafia on his own will and was fully aware of the consequences and had made peace with the separation, wouldn’t have it any other way, has no regrets, dO iT fOr oDaSaKu, mhmm, yes, but /when the FUCK did Chuuya get that scar on his neck?!?/

He spends the rest of the day after the meeting stewing over it. He didnt even spare Mori a sarcastic retort or plot something stupid to pull on the chibi as he was leaving. No. Immediately after, he darted into the passenger side of Kunikida’s car, a concerned Atsushi and an

even more bored Kyouka trailing behind him to sit at the back seats, and waited for his partner to drive them back to the dorms. Atsushi tried to ask questions—even after Kunikida started the car and began lecturing Dazai about how he “can’t just *leave* such an important meeting

so early blah blah blah”—but Kyouka gave him a look that told him to leave it alone

The entire drive back and the rest of the night in his apartment, Dazais brain cant stop orbiting around Chuuya and that /thing/ on his neck and why the hell did it catch him off guard so much?

He spends all night caught between annoyance at himself and annoyance at whatever the hell was making him annoyed; and, insomniac connoisseur that he was, he decided—with dignity, no strings attached, it’s /just/ an experiment—to find out if *more* had changed in his ex-partner

There’s this dumb café Chuuya liked a lot. Swore head to foot (even though Chuuya didnt have a *lot* to swear by) that it was the best place to get coffee in all of Yokohama. Dazai’d only been there a few times (once with Chuuya bc the hatrack made him try out their macchiatos,

and a few times after because those macchiatos were .. rather good, actually), but he remembered how to find it wedged in between two larger restaurant buildings just a few minute’s walk from PM headquarters. Back when they were 18, Chuuya’d come to *this* café every morning to

get coffee before work.

At 7 fucking AM.

Dazai, who hadn’t slept, slipped into the café right when it opened at 6:30 AM and, in desperation, ordered a black coffee to stay awake (“Um .. hi, can I .. order another drink?” “Do you want another black coffee—?“ “God no!! Something .. something sweet, please”)

He didnt even bother flirting with the girl who took his order. Although she *was* very cute—obviously not fully Japanese judging by her features and my God he’s a sucker for blue eyes—but, alas, he had to stay *focused* he’s a man on a *mission*

When the cute girl gave him his macchiato (theyre really good okay?), Dazai sat down at the farthest corner in a lone table, flipped open to the current page he was rereading in his suicide manual, and waited.

And well, well, *well* how times never *really* change: Just 28 minutes after it opened, Chuuya opens the door to the café and Dazai cant help but *smirk* as the chibi walks up to the counter to MOST DEFINITELY place his usual shitty order of something stupidly fancy like an

iced white chocolate mocha with an extra shot (CITATION: @animeronavirus) or a caramel latte ( @he_is_the_stars) or—
“Black. No sugar.”
—ex. fucking. *cUSE* me?

Dazai barely has time to process Chuuya *not* following the script he'd made in his head for this scenario just a few hours ago because that's when the cute girl who took *his* order came out from where she'd gone to the washroom and said, "Chuuya!" with *utmost delight*

If her piping voice didnt already confirm Dazai's suspicions that she wasn't completely Japanese, *the fucking French did.* She walks over to Chuuya /obviously/ happy to see him, beaming ear to ear and spilling words ~ au français ~

that sound so buttery and poised--where was *that* affection when Dazai ordered his *better* coffee?! He didnt flirt with her, sure, but isnt him being *pretty* enough for the pretty French girl to--
Chuuya picks up the conversation in /perfect/ tandem with her

--Excusez-moi?

/WHEN DID CHUUYA LEARN FRENCH?!?!/

Dazai’s brain reels with irritation and shock as the two keep talking in a language Chuuya most *certainly* didn’t know or had even begun to learn four years ago was four years even enough for a dog to learn a foreign language isn’t French supposed to be super difficult--

Dazai’s thoughts are interrupted by the girl’s giggling. Her cheeks are noticeably pinker when she brings her hand to her mouth to cover her laughing. Chuuya’s face mirrors hers and Dazai bites down *hard* on his macchiato straw.

How *dare* Chuuya get new scars, change his coffee order, *and* learn a new language enough to converse with beautiful French women after Dazai left him?! The hatrack wasn't even *charming* back when they were teenagers so why the hell is this girl so *enamored* with him?!

Because she *obviously* is and Chuuya *must* know it and--
"Black coffee no sugar for Nakahara?"
Chuuya and the girl's conversation pauses as he walks over to grab his order on the counter. Even though she's on *duty,* the girl doesnt seem *too* hesitant to go back to her shift

But before she can speak again Chuuya says, "It was nice seeing you, Colette. Have to go though. Boss just texted me" and she visibly deflates from the dismissal but still smiles and waves as Chuuya leaves the cafe with his fucking French and fucking black coffee and fucking scar

Almost on autopilot, Dazai gets up to follow him, absentmindedly tossing his half-emptied drink into a trash bin with a resounding /crack/ and--
"Hey!"
Dazai swerves around and sees Colette's horrified expression before he realizes /oop--that drink was in a glass /

A beat of silence hangs in the cafe, and even though it hadnt even been open an hour there were already some early morning patrons seated in a few tables that were *100%* judging the lanky dumbass who just shattered one of the cafe's glasses

"Y-Youre going to have to pay for that, Im sorry!" squeaked Colette from behind the counter.
And because his head registered Cute Girl Talking To Me, Dazai instantly amped up the charm and was prepared to talk his way out of this because anything Chuuya can do *he* can do better

But then a burly man looking *very* annoyed comes up behind the girl and starts squawking: "Hey! What's going on I heard--"
Colette, oh blue-eyed, beautiful, *traitorous* Colette pointed at Dazai with a shaking finger: "He threw one of our glasses in the trash"

But when her boss turned his head to see who she was pointing at, Dazai opened the cafe entrance door, bolted into the street, and hummed over his shoulder: "I HAVE SUDDENLY BEEN INFORMED THERE IS AN EMERGENCY AT WORK PLS START A TAB UNDER NAKAHARA HE'LL PAY FOR THE DAMAGES~~ <3"

Unfortunately, the high of escaping the wrath of the boss barista is short-lived because when Dazai stops running and catches his breath in the middle of a semi-crowded street, he quickly realizes /shit/ he lost Chuuya, he'd probably already be in the PM headquarters now

And Dazai wasnt exactly *eager* to go back there

Devastated, bested, and unjustly robbed of the opportunity for trouble he'd been meaning to cause, Dazai sighed, briefly mourned for his trashed macchiato (he didn't get to finish it ), and trudged to the ADA for work

Well, not really "for work." When he gets to the agency, he plops down on the couch dramatically, hoping to get Kunikida's attention. By now it was close to 8 AM, so the man had undoubtedly been at work for a few hours if not since Dazai's escapade to the cafe this morning

(Why was he always partnered with insane workaholics?)
Surely Dr. Yosano, Ranpo, and other agency members were milling about in the building, but in the main office, it was only Kunikida. So. Target acquired.
"Hunnhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ..." Dazai sighs loudly.
Kunikida doesn't flinch.