I’m reading Dune for the first time and I cannot BELIVE the level of queercoding going on in this first scene with Harkonnen, Piter and Feyd-Raytha.

Duke Harkonnen just described 15yo Paul as having “a sweet young body” I am going to S C R E A M

Who let straight men start writing. Who gave them permission.

the phrase “her body tortured by the winds of puberty” is HIGHLY cursed and should be stricken from the record, please and thank you

so like, does the Bebe Gesserit schtick get less... eugenics-y at any point,,

what is it about straight male science fiction writers and their weird obsession with magic space twinks

“behold, I have created a Straight Action Hero!” bitch that’s a whiny gay in a tunic

WHYST THE FUCK IS THERE AN ACTUAL DUNE CHARACTER CALLED DUNCAN IDAHO

Paul was just described as being “wide open for an underhanded counter with a slip-tip” and I’m fairly sure that’s the title of at least three videos on cockyboys

why the fuck is this fight scene so homoerotic

me, yelling thru my cupped hands: gaaaaaaay

kill me

Paul Atreides: *opens his mouth*
My brain:

I never want to hear another dude complaining about Mary Sue heroines in SFF/YA when literally the first five chapters of Dune are just other people explaining to Paul (and us) how awesome and special he is while Paul essentially stands there being sassy and asking questions.

“Not since the day when the Duke’s buyers had taken her from the school had she felt this frightened and unsure of herself” okay, WHAT? Leto *bought* Jessica? And from school, so presumably when she was still a teen? w h a t

RANDOM SPACE MATADOR

“It’s a crysknife” WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY TO ME I AM *WHEEZING*

Paul was just described as having “lime-toned eyes” and all I can picture is this kid with actual lime wedges instead of eyes

I’ll say this for Dune: once it gets past all the initial infodumping, weirdness and As You Know, Bob-ing, it’s very readable. But I’m still waiting for the next bit of unexpected WTFery to whap ms across the temples.

OK. Jessica has been with Leto for 16 years, and was taken to him from school, so assuming she was 15-19 when that happened, she’s now somewhere between 31 and 35.

WAIT I just remembered (and checked) that the Reverend Mother said Jessica had been her “serving wench” for fourteen years at school. So does that mean Jessica was 14 when Leto bought her, or that she came to the BG school as a kid and THEN spent 14 years there??

Slowly, in a slow voice,,

this is a little too real rn

Not gonna lie, a part of me thinks the book could’ve easily started at this chapter

Like. There’s a few good bits from the earlier chapters that you could chop back in as flashbacks or in a different order, but were I an editor, “His first encounter with the people he was meant to betray left Dr Kynes shaken” would make for a vastly stronger opening.

This chapter gives us multiple POV, neatly shows Paul as a child of prophecy in an intriguing way without belabouring it, and introduces major significant details in a natural way, all while progressing the plot. This should’ve been first! We didn’t need to see Caladan!

OK, that’s it for today, but I’ll come back to this thread when I next pick up reading!

I'm armed with hard seltzer, so you know what that means: IT'S DUNE TIME, BITCHES!

Cackling at this accidental self-own about Herbert’s female characters

Duke Leto: gotta convince my concubine I suspect her of treason even though I totally don’t and there’s no good reason she couldn’t be in on the pretence!
Also Duke Leto: she’d be prettier if she smiled

I cannot get over the fact that pretty much everyone in this book has more traditionally SFF name - which is to say, a made up name, or at least an unusual one, as per Idaho and Wellington - except for the two protagonists, who are Paul and Jessica. IT'S SO JARRING.

Paul: I was handling it correctly. Why do they interfere?"
Me brain:

Love how Jessica's inner monologue is suddenly 'oh bee tee dubs I'm pregnant and have known for weeks and also it's a girl," like this isn't something that would've reasonably crossed her mind before this point.

There's such a cool idea at the heart of this book - I get why so many people love it - but Herbert just cannot resist having his characters *constantly* explaining their motives and reasoning to the reader and to each other, and it's frustrating as hell.

What it makes me think is that Herbert was, whether consciously or not, dismissive of the intelligence of his readers - that he thought he was being So Very Smort about every little thing that he HAD to explain it, or no one would get it, and therefore not KNOW he was Smort.

what

just call him a hot gay, Frank

super cool that the villain is all, “I was GONNA rape a 15yo boy but I guess my Plans would be spoiled by that”

sidebar, to everyone replying to this thread with comments to the effect of "just wait until you get to X book in the series!" - bold of you to assume I'm not gonna mindwipe myself after the first one and leave it at that

“I am proud to be the shepherd of this herd of sharks!”

what does it all MEAN dot gif

luv 2 read a book where the villain is gross and fat and gay and his gross fat gayness is constantly highlighted as a means to emphasise his villainy

"His mind was a bin without end, catching everything." listen quick question how FUCKING high was herbert when he wrote this book??

HIS MIND. WAS A BIN. WITHOUT END. CATCHING EVERYTHING.

I will bet actual cash-money that this was a thought Herbert had while high and which he found so profound that he just had to include it

sign number 987 that this book was written in the mid sixties

GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS

"his left hand felt at the sphincter-seal of the tent's entrance"

Paul is going through a list of what's in their survival kit and I just choke-snorted because one of the items is listed as a sandsnork. After a moment's thought I'm guessing this is short for sand-snorkel but at first glance it was just hilarious gibberish.

Paul has suddenly morphed into an all-seeing, all-knowing Whingetwink of Destiny who's rude to his brilliant mother and it is, dare I say it, EXTREMELY annoying.

does the fact that Harkonnen wants to bone his own grandson, albeit unknowingly, ever get addressed or nah?

we get it, Frank: he’s the quidditch hubcap

"He remained silent, thinking like the seed he was, thinking with the race consciousness he had first experienced as terrible purpose."

WELP THIS SURE IS A BOOK FROM THE SIXTIES WRITTEN BY A WHITE DUDE

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HOKAY, I am done for tonight! Deep breath. I can rest now.