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Blew through #TooHotToHandle in one sitting & not gonna lie, @netflix is NAILING their onslaught of trashy reality-television-dating-show knockoffs dropping right now. Pure swish; nothing but truly godawful net. @LoveisBlindShow reigns supreme but THTH is some SPECTACULAR 
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Let me tell you why.
You think youâve seen every kind of Bachelor, Bachelor Spin-Off, 90 Day FiancĂ©e, Dating In The Dark, Sexy Singles Tempted and Ready To Mingle show out there?
You have.
And theyâre even REBOOTING THEM.
You have.
And theyâre even REBOOTING THEM.
And Iâm not even mad at it. Tbh, I havenât watched a single show in the stale Bachelor stable since they rammed Colton https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="âĄïž" title="Rightwards arrow" aria-label="Emoji: Rightwards arrow"> Paradise finishing camp to rehab his PR before naming him the next Bachelor. We all knew he wasnât there âfor the right reasonsâ but holy shit that was https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="â ïž" title="Skull and crossbones" aria-label="Emoji: Skull and crossbones">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ©" title="Pile of poo" aria-label="Emoji: Pile of poo">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="â ïž" title="Skull and crossbones" aria-label="Emoji: Skull and crossbones">
As an aside, please consider the offerings of UK Love Island & AU Love Island top-tier reality dating garbage & some of my highest trash recs. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Trophy" aria-label="Emoji: Trophy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đđ»" title="Raising hands (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Raising hands (light skin tone)">
I mean, *chefs kiss*
I mean, *chefs kiss*
Back to @Netflix & while I have a bone to pick with them about their THROW SPAGHETTI AT THE WALL AND SEE WHAT STICKS I DONâT KNOW IF WE SALTED THE WATER BEFORE WE BOILED THE NOODLES, JIM, KEEP THROWING SHELBY NEEDS NEW BRACES approach to âqualityâ content spamming, Iâll move on.
@LoveisBlindShow managed to sushi-roll all the cherry-picked parts of Bachelor & 90 Day FiancĂ©e franchises and, somehow, Frankenstein together a ridiculousssss, dramatic, cringe-worthy (SOME OF THOSE ALTAR MOMENTS YâALL https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đŹ" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">) & yet partially âawwwâ inducing garbage show.
Could this have been lightning in a bottle? Sure.
Could it have been an intern, nay, hero, plucked from sophomore year & raised on a farm-to-table diet of Real World/Road Rules & Jersey Shore who meshed together a seven-layer-Dorito-salad of questionably ethical ideas? Probably.
Could it have been an intern, nay, hero, plucked from sophomore year & raised on a farm-to-table diet of Real World/Road Rules & Jersey Shore who meshed together a seven-layer-Dorito-salad of questionably ethical ideas? Probably.
The world may never know-
Hang on, this just in: THEY DID IT AGAIN.
A breaking look at @netflix right now:
Hang on, this just in: THEY DID IT AGAIN.
A breaking look at @netflix right now:
Let me be clear, much like the first season of Breaking Bad (truly shitastic), the 1st few episodes of #TooHotToHandle are... shark-punch-inducing.
Iâm talking hide your babies I might accidentally flail into one whilst yelling at my television âHOW, HOW ARE YOU ALL THE WORST?!â
Iâm talking hide your babies I might accidentally flail into one whilst yelling at my television âHOW, HOW ARE YOU ALL THE WORST?!â
But then.
THE âTWISTâ: these horndogs are on knockoff Love Island and get hardcore dinged from a community prize chest every time they DING ONE ANOTHERâS PRIZE CHESTS (with disgruntled knockoff Alexa & voiceovers)
I have never SEEN so many boner-concealing throw pillows in use.
THE âTWISTâ: these horndogs are on knockoff Love Island and get hardcore dinged from a community prize chest every time they DING ONE ANOTHERâS PRIZE CHESTS (with disgruntled knockoff Alexa & voiceovers)
I have never SEEN so many boner-concealing throw pillows in use.
What ensues is the most insane(ly hilarious) mixture of (questionably long term) self-growth, genuine emotional connections and horny singles cheer-sexing (sprinkled in with actual sexing) each other while racing breakneck toward bankruptcy.
YâALL - ONE COUPLE DROP SOME L BOMBS.
YâALL - ONE COUPLE DROP SOME L BOMBS.
There are some truly, amazingly, SAVAGE moments (knockoff Alexa is my HERO) though, in the end, it was all worth it because everyone wins!
Well, divided by ten and then taxed.
Well, divided by ten and then taxed.
Either way, @netflix got a full day of my life streamed direct-to-eyeball & I got to watch yet another example of my very low bar for entertainment content dropping even lower - AND I CANâT WAIT FOR WHATEVER REALITY FRANKENBABY DROPS NEXT.
Sincerely, -Forever Single & Streaming
Sincerely, -Forever Single & Streaming
