Furloughed Day 9:

Alright, it's Saturday! I checked the Quarantined and Unemployed Handbook and it says Saturdays are for Video Games, Drinking and Sex

Oh that's the handbook for people without kids. Let's check the parent's edition.

It says Baking, Frozen and Crafts...

Furloughed Day 9:

Spent 3 hours making chicken wings.

That's it. That's the tweet.

Furloughed Day 9:

We are about to drive by wife's cousin's house to participate in a drive by birthday parade.

We made signs, have noise makers and painted the car windows.

We've been talking about it for days

This is as good as it gets!

Furloughed Day 10:

It's 7am. I'm listening to Ska/Swing music and making French Toast cause f*ck it, I'm determined to have a good day today.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/03Vqhq1oYfHZ2nJc2uHClt?si=8R5jq2niSnyx_y8ym9nG2w

Furloughed Day 10:

What I said:

"Hey Babe, do you mind if I go and finish cleaning out the garage"

What my wife heard:

"Hey Babe, do your mind if I abandon you whilst my demon spawn lay siege to what's left of your sanity"

Furloughed Day 10:

Just finished a tube of toothpaste, so I have some exciting plans for tomorrow.

Furloughed Day 11:

I mean everyone goes for random drives and viscerally screams out their frustration at the top of their lungs, right?

Furloughed Day 12:

I do my best to be positive. I want to be a person who lifts people up when they are down.

I woke up in a bad place today. I feel so much anger, just welling up inside of me.

I feel anger at those I love and respect supporting the antithesis of who I try to be. I hate that their integrity came so cheap

I feel anger of those who applaud the work and heroism of our front line workers then spit in their faces with a selfish protest.

Then most importantly I feel anger at myself for being angry. I feel resentment at my own lack of compassion and empathy. People are struggling and that manifests in a lot of ways. People feel hopeless and this is a time when we desperately need hope

"Anger clouds the mind, turned inward it is an unconquerable enemy" - Master Splinter

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering" - Master Yoda

I want to be that light in the darkness for people (which as I type it, sounds narcissistic considering my actual contributions). But I will still do what I can to help make your day a little better.

Today is just going to be a little harder out of the gate today

There will be days you won't be ok, and that's ok.

Your feelings are your feelings and they're real and they are valid. You just have to keep moving forward. Some days you'll sprint, some days you'll stroll and others you'll crawl.

I've rambled a bit and I'm sorry. I'll finish my coffee, I'll play with my kids and hopefully feel better in a little.

Please remember though...

Have Fun. Be Kind. I Love You.

Furloughed Day 12:

I cleaned out the kitchen drawers today.

It turns out that if the post-apocalyptic currency is silicon spatulas, we're going to be financially set for the foreseeable future.

Furloughed Day 13:

Another rough day with the Twinzers. They're bored and acting out, my fuse is short, TwinzerMom is still working.

It's days like today that I feel like a weak and ineffective parent.

It's days like this I struggle

Furloughed Day 13:

Yesterday when my son had a belly ache, I brought him up and let him listen to music with my over the ear headphones. It helped.

Today,his brother was out of control and needed to be separated and calmed down. I let him listen to music on my headphones

Tonight, as a family, we watched the #DisneyFamilySingAlong and it helped.

Music is powerful. If you're struggling, it's a good place to start.

Furloughed Day 14:

I dropped my lawnmower off to be repaired and I picked up some yarn from Joann Fabrics curbside pickup.

Needless to say it's been a pretty wild day here in the world of the unemployed and quarantined

Furloughed Day 14:

10:27am - For the first time since moving into this house all television remotes were both present and accounted for.

10:46pm - Walking back and forth to adjust the volume on the tv because all remote control locations are currently unknown.

Furloughed Day 15:

I miss sports. I'm watching a 27 year old hockey game.

And you bet your ass I'm still cheering when they score

Furloughed Day 16:

I checked the Unemployed and Quarantined handbook for today. It says make Dolce and Gabana coffee or whatever it's called.

So I did.

(P.S. not sure why it goes in a Mason Jar but apparently that's the rule)

Furloughed Day 16:

Just realized that Dunkin' Donuts delivers through door dash.

It's been a long road, but my dream of donuts on demand has finally come to life.

Goes to show you that if you want something bad enough and your heart is pure good things will come to you

Furloughed Day 16:

I've spent most of every weekday being a full time SAHD. TwinzerMom is a teacher and the demands of remote teaching are pretty rigorous.

Today I took a ride for about an hour. I listened to a podcast and enjoyed rural Pennsylvania.

Self care is important.

Furloughed Day 18:

I ordered a bar of soap off of the internet 4 days ago. I've thought about it every day since.

Furloughed Day 18:

During this time, it's been recommended that you work on adding various skills to make yourself more marketable to future employers.

For example, I've recently added "Structural Engineer" to mine.

Furloughed Day 19:

Apparently when my wife asked how the zoom call went with the kids' preschool class went, she was not looking for an update on which of the parents hired hot nannies.

I know this now.

Furloughed Day 21:

I’ve discovered that if I leave cheese slices out on the counter my children can forage all day and I can hide from them as long as the supply holds out

Furloughed Day 21:

Our neighbors sponsored a tent event with a Mexican restaurant chain where you pulled up to their driveway and someone put tacos & queso in your car

At that point I was legally obligated by societal law to eat enough queso to fill a large kiddie pool, right?

Furloughed Day 22:

I got soap in the mail today.

It is the most excited I’ve ever been to get soap.

I’ve checked the tracking multiple times to track the progress of its journey.

I’ve planned part of my day around it’s arrival.

That’s where I’m at.

Thanks @DrSquatchSoapCo

Furloughed Day 23:

I think I’ve mentioned before that Thurs/Fri tend to be the toughest days for me. TM is still working from home and I have the boys the majority of the time. They’re at a super challenging age right now and can often be little terrors

When you add that to the stress of everything going on in the world and all the uncertainty that pressure just builds.

TwinzerMom and I drank a little too much last night and in that found ourselves lamenting our worries and fears for the future. Things like worry for her

Grandmother who is in assisted living to me and my fears that I won’t get called back to my job. And of course a myriad of other things. We both were just very down. Which is ok. We are in a time where emotions can vary from moment to moment

Saturday is different though. It’s a chance for both of us, but especially me, to recharge.

Today it is a beautiful day. We took the boys on a nature walk.

We got outside, we got muddy, we laughed and we had fun

I love being in nature. Especially in the Spring and Autumn. There is a peace that can only be found there. A peace that my soul desperately needs in our current situation.

If you’re struggling and it’s a safe and logistical option, I highly recommend finding recommend it.

Furloughed Day 25:

It’s come to my attention that my time spent being bummed out and eating my feelings has led to a significant gain in my waistline and a significant drop in my self esteem. I am hoping to rectify this during my remaining lack of employment. However

I have also spent the better part of the last 2 decades avoiding working out and haven’t been “in shape” since my late teens. This is going to be an uphill battle that is not likely to improve my mood any time soon.

Furloughed Day 27:

It took 27 days. But it happened. I left the house in sweatpants.

Furloughed Day 27:

My wife just informed me that she hates the way I spit when I brush my teeth, and that she’s always hated it.... for 13 years.

Furloughed Day 29:

One of my wife’s best friends is having a baby. Today we drove to her house to loan them a bunch of the boys’ old baby stuff. We spent 15 minutes talking to them from about 12 feet apart, all of us wearing masks.

Since we were close to their home, we stopped by the home of some more of our friends and surprised them with a visit where we talked from another 15 minutes about 12 feet apart.

We’ve seen a few family members when we drove by her cousin’s house to wish him a happy birthday and her parents have come up a few times to play with the boys outside, but this was the first time we’d seen friends face to face in 2 months.

Those 30 minutes meant a lot.

Furloughed Day 31:

I woke up today with a feeling of dread and despair. I’ve been furloughed for over a month now. Maybe it’s the time spent without a job, maybe it’s the uncertainty, maybe it’s spending another holiday in lockdown.

My county is planning on defying the Governor’s orders. This feels like a sign of things to come. A further breakdown of our social norms. This pandemic has physically separated us but the tribal political rhetoric in the US has separated us more than it ever will.

Conspiracy theories abound. What’s worse is I feel like neither option is a great one. We open up and people die. We stay closed, and I’ll not only remain furloughed but working in a luxury industry that’s likely to struggle, I’ll probably remain out of a job as the

Economy spirals. And what if we open up all is well? Unlikely, but what if it all was for nothing? What if I lose a job that I love in a field that was rapidly shrinking as it was?

The mishandling of this pandemic will not unite us. Each side will paint a narrative of villainy done by the other. People will ignore any sense of reason and integrity in favor of supporting “their team.” Even I am guilty of this.

I never post anything political, it’s not my style. I would assume that the kind of person and the message that I attempt to spread would indicate pretty strongly who I do and more importantly who I don’t support when it comes to American poltics.

I’ve disagreed with the political beliefs of previous leaders. My outright hatred (and I admit that it is pure hatred) of our “leader” is something I have felt deeply for years. Never before have I felt this way about a president and quite honestly a person

What I do know is that in times of crisis, we have looked to that office for empathy, comfort and leadership. Something that jagoff just isn’t capable of.

I hate him for who he is, and I hate him because of what he has shown me about those I know who support him

I hate that I feel that anger. I hate that I feel that hate.

I hate that kindness is treated as weakness while bullies are exhalted.

I hate the way that I’m feeling.

I hate that I’m rambling but this thread is more a stream of conscious than my normal tweets. It is what it is

Furloughed Day 33:

I had 3 bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch today.

I’m clearly living my best quarantined life in a very mature way.

Furloughed Day 35:

Fixed the two cabinet doors that were broken for the better part of a year.

I got a “good job hunny” from the wife.

Not the parade I was expecting but given the lockdown restrictions on large gatherings, I guess it will do

Furloughed Day 35:

Fridays are usually a tough day for me. By now the pressures of Dadding all week usually get me wound up pretty tight.

However, I got to take a little drive today. When I got home my boys were asleep and I read in the sunshine.

Today was a good day.

Furloughed Day 37:

I was conversing with a friend via text message yesterday. It wasn’t about anything of consequence, mostly about BBQ (we were picking up from the same place)

I thought about him this morning and how much I missed him and wished I could hug him

I found myself tearing up a little in the car.

I get plenty of affection from my wife and kids. I have no complaints about that. But I do miss my friends. That connection is something strong.

It wouldn’t even be uncommon to go this long without seeing but

I found myself really missing him today. I miss that connection. I miss that exchange of affection.

I can’t wait to hug my friends again.

Furloughed Day 38:

My wife took the boys to her folks for a litlte while today. I decided to stay behind and take a nap. However the nap wouldn’t take so I decided to start a project I’d been meaning to do for the better part of a year. I cleaned out our back storage room

It took me about 3 hours of moving and shuffling boxes around, but I completed it.

It felt really good to complete something. To have a job and to do it. The boys are such a handful that doing anything productive with them around is near impossible.

It just felt nice to feel a sense of purpose. To check a box off a long term to do list.

We always talk about the things we’d get done if we had the time. Even though I’m not working, I never felt like I had the time.

Today I had the time, and I was grateful for it.

Furloughed Day 39:

I’ve been using this time to develop new skills. I’ve been really into repurposing my wardrobe to create chic new fashion styles*

*cutting the sleeves off my shirts

Furloughed Day 42:

I’ve recently decided to help cope with my restlessness, anxiety and depression in the healthiest way possible.

By buying lots of comic books and action figures so I have stuff in the mail to look forward to.

Furloughed Day 43:

1 thing that was good about being on the road was I could watch the random movies in my hotel judgement free

I feel like the only thing I’m going to be judged harder for by my wife than asking “Hey wanna watch Sister Act?” is watching it alone in the basement

Furloughed Day 45:

It probably doesn’t surprise you guys that I enjoy stand up comedy.

There is an alternate universe where my witty musings roll themselves up into some sort of routine where I’m funny enough and brave enough to do stand up.

So this morning I head off to the grocery store. Which as of late is a stressful situation. Between the mask and the quiet mourning of what was before, I just felt myself start to slip.

To combat it I’m listening to a Netflix special of one of my fav comedians, @pattonoswalt

During the special, he discusses with this gut wrenching vulnerability the days following his wife’s passing and having to deal with explaining that loss.

Now despite being almost in tears in the condiment aisle, I found a sense of hope in the message he conveyed

“It’s chaos, be kind” - Michelle McNamara

I found solace in those words

I hope on the days where it’s dark you can find the light but if you can’t, I hope you try find a way to be the light for others.

Have Fun.

Be Kind.

I Love You.

Furloughed Day 47:

I’m not saying I’ve given up.

I’m just saying that I’m wearing jorts

Furloughed Day 48:

Most days I’m tired.

Some days I’m ok.

Some days I’m anxious.

Some days I’m sad.

Some days I’m angry

Some days I’m numb.

But I promise guys, I’m trying.

Furloughed Day 49:

At this point, I use Furloughed as a euphemism for Quarantine.

A few minutes ago, my son was scraping a toy on the hardwood.

I asked him to stop.
He kept going

I told him to stop.
He kept going

I yelled at him to stop
He kept going

I violently grabbed the toy from him, opened the garage door and chucked it into the garage. Slammed the door. I went up to my room where I again slammed the door and screamed into a pillow.

It wasn’t about the toy.

It wasn’t about being ignored.

I was angry. I was on edge

I reacted that way because I was mad at myself, the world, politicians, Facebook, Twitter, racial injustice and my son’s behavior was just the catalyst for my explosion

I was wrong. When I calmed down, I told him that.

I hate the rage inside of me.

I’m trying my best.

Furloughed Day 51:

I really struggled yesterday. I mean I’ve been struggling with a lot of things the last few days. I have a hard time reconciling my feels at times. When you feel like your mental health is teetering it can really just muddy the waters

We live in a world that demands so much polarization. A world that asks us to draw a line in the sand and say I believe in everything on this side of the line and if you don’t agree then you clearly belong on the other side of the line

I can not only make you feel helpless but also make you struggle with the kind of person you are.

Last night as I watched feeds of the city I love more than anything succumb to violence, I just felt my heart breaking.

I’m sorry that this is the world that we live in. I’m sorry that people have been pushed to this point by the cruelty and injustices of this world. I’m sorry that kindness, and compassion lose out so often to anger and hate.

I’ve been photo documenting my moments, both up and down as we’ve remained under quarantine. I haven’t shared them all, especially not the lows. I took this one last night.

I am doing better today. I’ll talk about that much more briefly and lightheartedly in the next post

This isn’t a debate or commentary about what is going on in the US. There are plenty of other posts by many other people if you’d like to have that discussion. It’s all bigger and more complex than I can discuss.

It’s just a reflection on my mental state last night

I just hope that someday we find the empathy, compassion and kindness that this world so desperately needs.

Sorry, I’m rambling again. If it wasn’t coherent, I apologize.

Furloughed Day 51:

When the world gets you down, F*ck it, find nature

Furloughed Day 52:

Upon the Twinzers’ request, we went for another nature hike. Given everything going on in our world right now, it was really nice to get out there again

Those “hikes” are the only time that I truly unplug from the internet. It’s important for my mental health

Furloughed Day 56:

We were watching a stand up special tonight. My wife kept looking over at me and smiling.

I finally asked her “What’s up?”

She just smiled and said “I just haven’t heard you laugh in awhile”

It made me both happy and sad

Furloughed Day 58:

I can honestly say that over the last 58 days, I’ve experienced deeper bouts of depression than I ever have before in my life

The underlying reasons are many. The positive days far outnumber those that I feel down and far outnumber the days I feel angry

My outlet most days is to take a drive. To find solace in solitude. To allow my brain to decompress

Some days, I silently air my grievances with those who I feel discontent. Others I listen to music or stand up.

Some days I just remember how beautiful rural Pennsylvania can be

Furloughed Day 61:

Some days are better than others

Furloughed Day 69:

::giggles::

Furloughed Day 71:

Today I went to a Flea Market.

It may not sound like much, but it’s the first truly selfish “just for me” activity that I’ve done since going into lockdown that was done not as a coping mechanism but for actual pleasure.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Furloughed day 73:

What I’ll look like going back to work after spending months in quarantine with my children

Furloughed Day 75:

I opened a new bar of soap today. I guess that counts as productivity during furlough.

Furloughed Day 80:

This morning I had 5 minutes where I sat in a chair by myself on the beach as the surf crashed around me.

For that 5 minutes I was the most at peace that I’ve been since all of this started.

Furloughed Day 83:

Another holiday spent in the midst of this pandemic.

It doesn’t seem like there is a lot to celebrate today.

It’s hard to remember at times that we are a young nation. We will make mistakes...but unlike many of the nations built before us...

We had the benefits of seeing their mistakes and yet we still stumbled blindly into them and we will be judged harshly from not learning the lessons of our past.

But I do try to be an optimist. I see where we are at the moment.

We are a nation hurting from self inflicted wounds of complacency. We lulled ourself into allowing the living embodiment of our worst traits to lead the way and as expected it’s lead us to nowhere we should want to be.

It has further exposed our flaws and our weaknesses

It has empowered those who never fully embraced the promise of what we could be if only we all truly believed the flowery words penned long ago and thus leaving that promise unfulfilled for more than 2 centuries

Yet through all the darkness of the last few years, I still feel a sense of confidence. While it seems the evil trumps the good, there have been moments of unity and kindness. The collective voices screaming out for justice and equality for all that were promised to us long ago

I hope that many who sat home in November, feeling complacent that we would not allow the worst of us to be the loudest voice heard, will exercise their right to vote.

I hope that we can pick ourselves up and move forward into the future. I hope that while we are currently as divided as we have ever been in the last century, we can find a way to come together and find who we were meant to be

When we do, we will truly have a reason to celebrate

Furloughed Day 85:

Today was a tough day parenting. There was a lot of chaos, anger, tears, frustration, guilt, you name it.

At one point in exasperation we discussed how being parents was the thing we wanted most in our lives and to feel like you suck at it really is awful

You try to keep it in perspective. Try to tell yourself that your struggles are something that every parent goes through with kids this age. You acknowledge the stresses and challenges of quarantine, but it doesn’t take away the feeling of failure that a rough day of parenting

Parenting is hard. There’s a Mike Tyson quote out there that says “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” Every day of parenting starts with expectations but before you know it, you’ve taken that hit to the chin

Tomorrow is another day. And I’ll do my best to approach it with a positive attitude. That’s the plan.

Let’s see how long it takes to get punched in the mouth.

Furloughed Day 90:

Today marks the longest I’ve been unemployed since I was 15 years old.

Furloughed Day 90:

Tomorrow I’ll find out whether or not I’ll be getting called back to work.

Furloughed Day 91:

Today I’ll find out if I’m going to be going back to work or if this furlough becomes permanent.

Honestly both outcomes make me anxious. I love my job. It’s a huge part of my identity and I haven’t given any thought to “what’s next” in over 6 years

But my job also exposes me to a lot of people, in a lot of settings. It requires a lot of travel and there are a lot of risks involved with that.

With that the boys have been a huge challenge lately for both of us, so that falls back on my wife should I go back

It will be late this afternoon when I’ll find out. So until then my mind will rocket through both outcomes and play the worst case scenarios of each.

On top of that, there are some family issues that have come up which is likely to result in bad news

Whatever the outcome, I’ll keep moving forward.

Furloughed Day 91:

As of July 31st, my furlough becomes a permanent lay off.

I’m absolutely heartbroken. I loved this job. I was very good at this job.

I’ve been using this thread as a stream of consciousness as a way to document how I’ve felt throughout. I’ll continue that

Furloughed Day 91:

It just keeps sinking in. Deeper and deeper and it sucks.

Unemployed Day 91:

I’m going to stick with the day count just change the title.

People have asked me if I’ve given any thought to what I’m going to do next.

As it’s only been about 10 hours, that answer is “not really”

Though I have decided to spend a little time each night methodically eliminating jobs that I don’t want or am grossly unqualified for.

Tonight I’ve ruled out:

Accountant
Astronaut
Astronomer
Ant Organizer
Armadillo trainer
Amazonian Warrior Princess
And Architect

Unemployed Day 92:

I really thought a water leak right above one of the shelves where I keep part of my beloved Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle collection would really enhance the unemployed experience

what a week.

Unemployed 92:

Everyone: You doin ok, Dude?

Me:

Unemployed Day 92:

I’ve really struggled after finding out that my position had been eliminated

But I got an email today that makes me think that things are gonna turn out just fine

So whoever passed my email along to the deposed Nigerian prince, thank you. I owe you a beer.

Unemployed Day 95:

I’m planning either bumping up my mid-life crisis a few years or just having a good old fashioned existential crisis.

TBD

Unemployment Day 96:

If this keeps up I may have to cash in on some of our retirement.

I hate to do it before those Pogs and Beanie Babies are fully vested

Unemployed Day 97:

Getting laid off is especially hard. It’s so different than being fired.

You didn’t cause it. It wasn’t your fault. Yet you face the consequences.

It’s especially hard when you still love and believe in the company.

Anger is such an easy emotion.

But when you take anger off the table, all that’s really left is sadness.

People will tell you about potential and opportunity. They’ll talk about “Blessings in disguise.” Those realizations may come in time.

But our careers are a part of the whole that we are. Loss is loss.

And when we lose a part of ourselves suddenly and unexpectedly, that part of us that is missing leaves an empty feeling.

There’s a feeling that the role that felt so vital to you, was not so vital in the grand scheme of things.

Our jobs should not define us. We are so much than that. But it is still a part of our identity. It’s a part of how we see ourselves and to suddenly be forced to redefine who we are is challenging to say the least.

Anyways. Sorry to be a bummer. Just needed to get that out.

Unemployed Day 99:

Today will be the first time since March that TwinzerMom and I will spend a few hours together away from our children.

Unemployed Day 100:

100 days feels like a lot.

Unemployed Day 101:

When you’re employed and looking for a better position, you are full of confidence. You have the skills to pay the bills.

When you’re unemployed and looking, your self confidence absolutely plummets.

Unemployed Day 103:

Today marks my 103rd day of furlough/unemployment.

It also coincides with my 103rd consecutive day of wearing a sleeveless t-shirt.

Ok, not really, but it feels like it

Unemployed Day 103:

I need to find a job soon. Lack of direction and purpose is starting to turn me into a delinquent. Today I vandalized benches at the local park.

Unemployed Day 104:

My job search is a lot like my diet.

I ate 2 salads last week, I should be skinny now.

I sent out 3 resumes last week, I should be hired by now.

Unemployed Day 105:

Last night my wife got around to adding up my PayPal charges during quarantine.

It turns out that I’ve exceeded my unemployed comic book and action figure budget.... by a lot.

Unemployment Day 105:

LinkedIn- “We’ve reviewed your resume and we would like recommend the following positions for you:

CEO Fortune 500 Company -

salary: 1.6 million per year

Colored Pencil Sharpener-

salary: $0.11 per hour”

Unemployed Day 105-

One of the hardest things for me to cope with while parenting in the time of COVID-19 is the overwhelming overstimulation of every sense.

The noise, the chaos, being pulled and grabbed at, the constant stream of messes, the fighting, hearing my name 24/7

It wears on my nerves. Makes my otherwise long fuse very short.

Add the hopelessness feeling of losing my job, the helplessness at the state of the world. It has me on edge.

I don’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone, hear anyone or be touched by anyone

Anyone else feel this?

Unemployed Day 106:

After much deliberation and self reflection I’ve decided to start my own business.

If you know anyone who might be interested in investing in an herb farm run exclusively by lesser apes called “Any Gibbon Thyme” please pass along my information.

Unemployed Day 107-

On the rare occasion that I get a quiet moment of my reflection, I find myself daydreaming about what “the new normal” will look like when the dust all settles from this.

Then, like a glass of icy water tossed into my face it hits me

I won’t be going back to my old life. My old day to day is gone. That portion of my life is over.

It is so mentally jarring.

Then there’s a feeling of guilt. My wife is still working. We have a solid safety net. My kids will always eat. I don’t worry about losing our home

Our families are in realtively good health. We haven’t lose anyone to the pandemic. While many are mourning the passing of their loved ones, I’m mourning the passing of my career.

It feels so petty in the grand scheme of what’s going on.

That’s the thing about this. There are so many emotions

Anger, sadness, guilt, hopelessness, and occasionally some positives

It’s hard to process but my feelings are real an they are valid..

and so are yours

Allow yourself to feel them

Oh and Have Fun, Be Kind, I Love You

Unemployed Day 109:

I’ve just started work on a sitcom starring Mike Tyson and George Foreman as retired boxers turned lawyers called “Boxers with Briefs”

Needless to say, this unemployment thing won’t be an issue for much longer.

Unemployed Day 109:

Since I wasn’t working, we came out to visit my folks.

Today we went to a drive thru animal safari. The kids loved it and were hysterical as the animals came to the car.

I laughed

a lot.

Haven’t done that much since getting laid off.

It felt good.

Unemployed Day 111:

Employers: Our hiring managers only spend an average of 11 seconds reviewing resumes so it’s important to keep it concise and to the point.

Also Employers: We would also like you to include a love letter to the company with your resume.

Unemployed Day 111:

One of the hardest things about being laid off is that people on the outside tend to come at you basically from 2 camps.

There’s the “you should take this time to follow your dreams and wait for the perfect job” camp

Then there is the “you must be desperate for a job, here’s a ton of job postings that I think you could do without regard to what your career was or where you were in it” camp.

Meanwhile you’re somewhere in between.

You’re aimlessly searching job boards, looking at the same jobs 36 million other people are, trying to decide if it’s going to bring you any level of joy in your life or at the very least a lateral move with comparable paycheck.

So you tweak your resume. You revise your cover letter for the 87th time, trying to make it seem like every job is the Holy Grail of jobs, knowing that you’re probably going to get rejected by the company’s AI because you don’t have the buzz words of the month on your resume.

So yeah, job hunting is going well overall.

Unemployed Day 112:

It has dawned on me that should I find a job that requires me to wear a tie to work that my current tie wardrobe consists only in the “Jerry Garcia” and “Novelty” categories... which may be the same thing.

Unemployed Day 113:

I wonder if any of the companies that I applied to have emailed me today?

No?

Oh well, I’ll check again in 3 minutes.

Unemployed Day 114:

Me: I’m gonna do some job searching today. Really bums me out

Universe: Oh don’t worry, I’m gonna make your ceiling leak so you can be bummed about that instead.

Me: Uhm, yeah that doesn’t help?

Universe: Power might go out too

Me: Seriously, Bro?

Unemployed Day 118:

I miss my job.

Like so many, I longingly look forward to when we can get back to some sense of normalcy.

Then I just feel this gut wrenching feeling of loss when I realize that I won’t have that when this is “over” I won’t have that sense of normalcy.

Unemployed Day 121:

My targeted ads on Facebook as of late have been for various types of flasks.

Which may be an indication of how my job search is going.

Unemployed Day 122:

My Pop-Tart was frosted almost entirely to the edge.

I’m pretty confident now that someone’s looking out for me.

Unemployed Day 122:

Job Hunting is a humbling experience, especially given the circumstances & scarcity of positions right now

You put so much into a resume, the culmination of more than a decade of work to have someone look at it and determine you’re not even worth a call

It can wear you down quickly. It’s wearing me down. It’s hard not to spiral.

I feel guilty at times for not appreciating the time with my family, but even that can be overwhelming.

I miss getting to be who I am outside of being a dad.

It’s hard to be just one thing

Unemployed Day 123:

TwinzerMom said that my “presence is tense” this morning.

Though she may have said that “my present is tents”

So now I’m wondering if I’m giving off a negative vibe or getting a gift.

Unemployed Day 123:

My wife just informed me that choosing Comic Sans for the font on my resume may be the reason I have yet to be contacted for an interview.

Unemployed Day 127:

I’ve cut my kids’ hair twice during quarantine. Can I put “children’s barber” on my resume yet?

I mean assuming a company is only looking for buzzcuts done with beard trimmers.

Unemployed Day 128:

I don’t know about you, but I find the best way to start the day is with a rejection letter from a potential employer

Unemployed Day 129:

If you had asked me 20 years ago where I saw myself in 2020...

Unemployed and watching cartoons on my phone in the Target Parking lot while waiting to buy action figures from a guy in a mask that I met on the internet probably wouldn’t have been my answer

Unemployed Day 130:

I’d really like to get a job so I can go on a comic book buying spree....

I mean help support my family. Yes... that’s what I meant

Unemployed Day 132:

My previous job involved a lot of windshield time as I traveled to and from my accounts which meant I listened to a lot of audiobooks.

Being unemployed has recently helped me remember how much I enjoy actual books. So I guess there is that.

Unemployed Day 135:

Am I the only one who dresses up for a phone interview?

And no... it’s not a zoom call.

Unemployed Day 135:

I listened to the Hamilton soundtrack prior to my interview to psyche myself up.

It was just a half hour screening interview though, so now I may have to go defeat the British.

Unemployed Day 135:

My job search may be over...

Unemployed Day 138:

Even with the very real prospect of a new job on the horizon, I still find myself mourning the loss of my old job.

My old life.

I didn’t really think it would be like this.

Unemployed Day 138:

Being out of work in during a pandemic is a weird mix of emotions.

Some days you’re good. Some days you’re like “What would it be like if I shaved off an eyebrow?”

Unemployed Day 141:

Me: Can I wear this tie for my interview tomorrow? Like would someone see me wearing it think “yep, this dude is colorblind”

TwinzerMom: It’s more them saying “Does this person have taste?” So if the answer you’re looking for is “No” then I’d say go for it

Unemployed Day 144:

The latest rejection email came through at 12:41 last night making sure I had something extra special to wake up to.

Unemployed Day 144:

One of the hardest things about applying for jobs when you’re unemployed is that you end up applying for so many and many of them you don’t even get to interview for.

Think about it, it’s not unusual for those looking for a job to apply for 50 plus positions. So by the time you get to your 50th job application you’re not even applying for something you really want?

What’s your 50th favorite candy? Werther’s Originals? Those strawberry candies in your Grandmother’s purse?

At that point, do you even want it?

I know these posts may come off as pessimistic, bitter, and whiny. I promise that’s not what I’m going for. It’s really about keeping a “journal” of my feelings this time & hoping that someone reading this who is experiencing the same type of feelings will know they’re not alone

Unemployed Day 145:

Look I’m just saying that if I would have known finding a job would be this difficult in the future, then I probably wouldn’t have gone to that Ska concert the night before I took the SAT’s.

Unemployed Day 148:

As of 9/28, if everything goes right, I’ll have to change how these entries start.

I have accepted a contingent offer for a new job at the end of September!

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive over the last few months. I really appreciate it!

Unemployed Day 153:

The last few days have been tough on the mental side of things for me.

I feel like many of us do our best to keep all the negative energy of the world at bay, but some days it just overwhelms and consumes us. There is just so much of it out there.

In a time when we should be standing shoulder to shoulder against the evils of this world, we find it ourselves drawing a line in the sand and moving as far back as far as we can on our respective sides and hurling that negativity at each other hoping to draw them to our side.

We need to do better. Our children deserve better.

Be a force for good.

Have Fun.

Be Kind.

I Love You.

Unemployed Day 156:

2020 has left me more angry, hateful, bitter and depressed than I thought that I was capable of being.

I just want a better world for my children and I am willing to fight for it.

Unemployed Day 165:

I start my new job tomorrow

I started this thread as a way of documenting my thoughts and emotions as it related to be furloughed and subsequently laid off from a job and career that I truly loved and at the same time the global pandemic and social unrest

I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read it thus far. I may continue entries under a different heading in this thread as the events of 2020 continue to prompt the need for this sort of thing.

But what I’d like to close out the “Unemployed” chapter of this thread with is this:

Life rarely allows us to travel the path that we set out to follow, but hopefully, if we keep moving forward it will take us to where we want to go.