Sanghi: I don't like what you're saying.

Me: It's a free country. I can speak my mind.

Sanghi: If you were not in a free country, you wouldn't be able to speak your mind.

Me: I know. What's your point?

Sanghi: India allows you freedom of speech.

Me: I know. That's why I'm using it. What's your point?

Sanghi: My point is that you should not use freedom of expression in a country that allows it.

Me: What! Why?

Sanghi: Because we are great and allow freedom of speech. Therefore we should not be criticised.

Me: Let me get this straight. You are proud of the fact that you belong to a country that allows people to express themselves. But you want to become a country where people don't express themselves.

Sanghi: Yes. I just want the label. I don't want the thing the label promises.

Me: I see.

Sanghi: Similarly, I want the label "democratic" and "secular" also. They look nice. They make me look nice when I go to other countries. They make the country's image shiny.

Me: Fascinating. Tell me more. What other labels do you want without the burfen of action.

Sanghi: Oh, so many. I want "educated" and "civilised" and "cultured" and "scholar" and "intellectual" and "peaceful" and "global superpower".

Me: But you don't want to do any of the things that bring these labels.

Sanghi: No. It's too much work.

Me: You're a disgrace.

Sanghi: You can't say that. Just because we have freedom of speech, you think you can say anything? If you were in another country where there is no free speech...