Things I miss.

1. I miss being 20 mins early for an audition that’s running 40 mins behind.

2. I miss having less than 24 hours notice to learn sides for a audition scene that is 11 pages long.

3. I miss the 2 hour commute to audition venues in west London for jobs and I won’t book.

4. I miss preparing 5 lots of sides to then be told they only wanna see the first.

5. I miss wishing fake good luck/break a leg for other actors when they’re in after me.

6. I miss turning up to the wrong audition venue.

7. I miss going into auditon room in character only to be thrown by having a 15 minute chat at the panel

8. I miss preparing 2 songs plus the material for them to still make me do scales.

9. I miss the producers who give you no eye contact for your entire audition.

10. I miss lying about my extra skills and saying that I can horse ride.

11. I miss seeing those 4 other people in the waiting room who look pretty much the same as me.

12. I miss having to read BOTH parts of the play because they said ‘chose a session you’d like to perform’

13. I miss going to bbc HQ for meetings and still feeling like I’m in an episode of W1A

14. I miss ringing my agent and telling him how horrid the audition went.

15. I miss making friends at auditions I’ll never see again.

I miss being asked to do an ‘African accent’ with no specificity of where in Africa.

17. I miss second guessing every single choice I’ve made because of being able to hear literally everything the panel are saying to the person before you.

18. I miss putting aside my real life responsibilities for an URGENT self tape that’s 10 pages for a role that’s already been cast.

19. I miss updating my CV to still be asked ‘So what have you been up to?’

20. I miss the polite smalltalk some casting directors give you post audition when both you and they know you’ve completely fucked it .

21. I miss doing a nervous poo in the audition venue.

22. I miss being in a cattle call with a million graduates with a lovely chirpy energy and being made to feel like an old crow.

23. I miss fucking up an audition, leaving, then having to re-enter the room because I left my bag in there.

24. I miss paying £4.99 for sheet music I’ll never use again.

25. I miss the stupid names of the audition rooms at spotlight.

26. I miss cutting my holiday short, changing flights, to come back for an audition that last 3 seconds

27. I miss lying to the director and pretending I’ve seen his last play.

28. I miss setting a tempo for the song I’m singing only for the pianist to completely ignore it

29. I miss going into the audition venue bathroom to do a massive siren.

30. I miss being completely off book, only to go into the audition and blanking.

31. I missed being asked to do a general American accent only to end up in a southern accent by the end of the audition.

32. I miss being told “you’re still in the mix “

33. I miss the small talk with the lovely stage door keepers at the ‘NASH’

I miss being told that ‘the Americans are in’, to go in to find the same 2 panellists you’ve seen for the last three rounds.

35. I miss the anxiety and sheer panic after leaving home early for an audition only to be stopped by signal failure at London Bridge

36. I miss turning up for a “movement call” and feeling intimidated to find dancers in the corridor in box splits

37. I miss having auditions with that one casting director who ALWAYS gets you in, but you’ve NEVER booked a job for.

38. I miss seeing the hotter, taller more successful version of me walk in before I go into my audition.

39. I miss having to learn FAKE SIDES for an audition I’ve had to sign an NDA for

40. I miss auditioning for an ‘untitled Disney project’ and knowing it’s Star Wars

41. I miss cracking in a musical audition on a top note and lying pretending I’ve got a cold when in fact the song is completely out of my range

42. I miss not knowing WHO to give I contact to when there is 45 people on the audition panel

43. I miss lying to the Choreographer in a movement call about my dance skills

44. I miss being walked out of the room by the casting director and being uncertain if you should go in for the hug or not

45. I miss being given multiple chances to nail it by the casting team and still fucking it up.