Read on Twitter
My mother-in-law called us yesterday. My partner& #39;s great aunt has passed away due to #COVID19. It rattled me, even though I have never had the pleasure of meeting her. How many more family members will we have to bury? How many friends? 1/
The virus has been found in my grandmother& #39;s nursing home, on the same floor as she& #39;s on. My sister (whose& #39;s at very high risk) works as a technician in a hospital. Most of my family/friends are high-risk. I& #39;m scared to lose them. 2/
Meanwhile my other grandmother was partying in the park w. friends all through Easter.
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ€Šââïž" title="Woman facepalming" aria-label="Emoji: Woman facepalming">
I& #39;m tired. I don& #39;t mind the semi-lockdown so much, being an introvert, but this anxiety and constant worry is really starting to break me up. It feels like there& #39;s no end in sight. 3/
I& #39;m tired. I don& #39;t mind the semi-lockdown so much, being an introvert, but this anxiety and constant worry is really starting to break me up. It feels like there& #39;s no end in sight. 3/
I suppose the feeling will pass, as such anxiety attacks tend to do. But, yeah... shit& #39;s hard. It doesn& #39;t help to have the constant flurry of media coverage about how expendable the fat/disabled/chronically sick/old are. 4/
I try to avoid the media as much as I can, but not knowing what& #39;s going on is not helpful either. There& #39;s a fine balance to media consumption these days, and I don& #39;t think I& #39;ve found it yet. 5/
Sometimes I can trick myself in thinking it& #39;s all so far away from us, so I can get some work done. But it really is not. It will hurt and kill those I love, and then all I can think about is how many and who it is I will lose, or will lose me. 6/
And at other times I wake up from with a smile, having dreamt of a dog assembling IKEA furniture.
It is this weird oscillation between normality and the anxiety of impending death and disaster that gets me every. single. time. 7/
It is this weird oscillation between normality and the anxiety of impending death and disaster that gets me every. single. time. 7/
But this is not business as usual. This is not OK. This is not fine. 8/
And now I need to trick myself into believing in normality again, because I have a chapter to finish. I hate this. I signed up for a normally challenging #PhDLife, now I get to deal with massive amounts of existential dread on top of it. Not sure how long I can keep it up tbh. 9/
